It is not like studying German, where you mull along, in a groping, uncertain way, for thirty years; and at last, just… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
You can't keep a juvenile moral institution alive on two displays of its sash per year. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
One must keep one's character. Earn a character first if you can, and if you can't, then assume one. From the code… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If science exterminates a disease which has been working for God, it is God that gets the credit and all the pulpits… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
No one is sane, straight along, year in and year out, and we all know it. Our insanities are of varying sorts,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two million dollars. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The average man is what his environment and his superstitions have made him; and their function is to make him an ass.… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If the world ends, I'll just head on down to Kentucky because they're always 20 years behind. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I have attended operas, whenever I could not help it, for fourteen years now; I am sure I know of no agony… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I have no liking for novels or stories - none in the world; and so, whenever I read one - which is… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
What a world of trouble those who never marry escape! There are many happy matches, it is true, and sometimes "my dear,"… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A gifted person ought to learn English (barring spelling and pronouncing) in thirty hours, French in thirty days, and German in thirty… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I was dead for millions of years before I was born and it never inconvenienced me a bit. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
My philological studies have satisfied me that a gifted person ought to learn English (barring spelling and pronouncing) in thirty hours, French… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I can't do no literary work for the rest of this year because I'm meditating another lawsuit and looking around for a… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Whatever a man's age, he can reduce it several years by putting a bright-colored flower in his button-hole. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“I think we never become really and genuinely our entire and honest selves until we are dead--and not then until we have… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
What is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth. No smallest atom of our moral, mental, or physical structure can stand… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I thought tamarinds were made to eat, but that was probably not the idea. I ate several, and it seemed to me… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Begin with the determination to succeed and the work is half done already. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
