July 4. Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
That is the way of the scientist. He will spend thirty years in building up a mountain range of facts with the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The law of God, as quite plainly expressed in woman's construction, is this: There shall be no limit put upon your intercourse… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
You have noticed that the human being is a curiosity. In times past he has had (and worn out and flung away)… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Time and tide wait for no man. A pompous and self-satisfied proverb, and was true for a billion years; but in our… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The most successful people are those who do all year long what they would otherwise do on their summer vacation. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred million years --and I… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Twenty-four years ago I was strangely handsome; in San Francisco in the rainy season I was often mistaken for fair weather. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There will never be a "perfect" time to quit smoking. A time when you don't have any distractions or stress... If you… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
When I was fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have him around. When I got to be… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The law of God, as quite plainly expressed in woman's construction is this: There shall be no limit put upon your intercourse… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It will take mind and memory months and possibly years to gather together the details, and thus learn and know the whole… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If I were required to guess off-hand, and without collusion with higher minds, what is the bottom cause of the amazing material… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky, because everything there happens 20 years after it happens… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There was a great difference in boats, of course. For a long time I was on a boat that was so slow… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man's house burns down. The smoking wreckage represents only a ruined home that was dear through years of use and pleasant… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There is in life only one moment and in eternity only one. It is so brief that it is represented by the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The mind that becomes soiled in youth can never again be washed clean. I know this by my own experience, & to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I will now claim - until dispossesed - that I was the first person in the world to apply the typewriter to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Very well, then, where do we arrive? Where do we arrive with our respect, our homage, our filial affection? At Adam! At… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
My sister...was an interested and zealous invalid during sixty-five years, tried all the new diseases as fast as they came out, and… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Begin with the determination to succeed and the work is half done already. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
