I've been to Washington many times over the years for stories, and it always seems remarkably the same. More the same than… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I'm not the only taxpayer who has no idea what he's sending to the IRS. This year, only 28 percent of all… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
In more than 20 years of opening beers with guys, I have NEVER seen the Swedish Bikini Team show up. Almost always,… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The Romans spent the next 200 years using their great engineering skill to construct ruins all over Europe. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I took an estimated two thousand years of high school French, and when I finally got to France, I discovered that I… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Wood heat is not new. It dates back to a day millions of years ago, when a group of cavemen were sitting… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
My theory is that there is a finite amount of intelligence in a family, and you're supposed to gradually transfer it to… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
For 41 years I have gone with a very natural hair "look" that was originally popularized by coconuts. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Technology is constantly improving our lives. Look at the cellular telephone. Just ten years ago, virtually nobody was able to get into… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The universe has fascinated mankind for many, many years, dating back to the very earliest episodes of Star Trek, when the brave… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
It was not easy victory in the America Cup. Our boys spent years experimenting with different designs for their boat before they… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Many people have trouble sticking to their resolutions, and there is a simple scientific explanation for this. In 1987, a team of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The Japanese eat, sleep, and breathe golf; the only thing they don't do is actually play it, because to get on a… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
A hundred years ago, it could take you the better part of a year to get from New York to California; whereas… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Your federal government needs your money so that it can perform vital services for you that you would not think up yourself… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This was years ago, I think during the early [Ronald] Reagan years. I came up with a plan that everybody just pay… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Every year I write a tax advice column and I used to always make fun of that. One year, one of my… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift. One day he was typing and turned to a secretary… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Everybody in New York, including police horses, dresses fashionably, and whenever I'm there, even in my sharpest funeral-quality suit with no visible… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Each year, millions of skiers come to Colorado to experience its superb emergency medical facilities. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
At certain times each year, we journalists do almost nothing except apply for the Pulitzers and several dozen other major prizes. During… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Proper turkey preparation is critical. According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, more Americans die every year from eating improperly cooked turkey… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Here's a man who was twice elected to the most powerful position on Earth despite needing a TelePrompTer to correctly identify what… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
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