“Proper turkey preparation is critical. According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, more Americans die every year from eating improperly cooked turkey than were killed in the entire Peloponnesian War. This is because turkey can contain salmonella, which are tiny bacteria that, if they get in your bloodstream, develop into full-grown salmon, which could come leaping out of your mouth during an important business presentation.”
![“If I took my turkey out of the refrigerator and, like, threw it in a dumpster or drug it down the street in New York for a while [it will make people sick].” quote by Alton Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/303/alton-brown-3699_drug_if-i-took-my-turkey-out-of-the-refrigera_2464645.jpg)
