Should Quotes by Dave Barry

When to arrive at the airport?: You should be at the airport already.

— Dave Barry

You should not confuse your career with your life.

— Dave Barry

We should call editorials what they are: columns written by committees.

— Dave Barry

You should be prepared for anything during divorce proceedings - even the truth.

— Dave Barry

Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money.

— Dave Barry

This (French-Kissing) is a really sexy thing to do, according to the French people, although you should bear in mind that they…

— Dave Barry

You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an…

— Dave Barry

When I was a kid, I thought history was the most boring subject of all. I shouldn't blame my teachers; I should…

— Dave Barry

Baby's room should be close enough to your room so that you can hear baby cry, unless you want to get some…

— Dave Barry

I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules,including: Both of your socks should always be the same color, Or…

— Dave Barry

For the benefit of those of you who have real jobs and are not involved in the news business, I should first…

— Dave Barry

I think Superman should go on the Larry King show and announce that he would come back to life if people in…

— Dave Barry

I'm a big believer in anesthesia. I think it should be used for every medical procedure, indlucing routine physicals.

— Dave Barry

You should definitely have a travel agent. Why go through all the hassle of dealing with airlines, hotels, and rental-car agencies yourself,…

— Dave Barry

Ask any real estate broker to name the three most important factors in buying a property, and he'll say: "Location, location, location."…

— Dave Barry

You should never pick up a newspaper when you're feeling good, because every newspaper has a special department, called the Bummer Desk,…

— Dave Barry

I would say that the single most important conclusion I reached, after traveling through Japan, as well as countless hours reading, studying,…

— Dave Barry

It is important to be nice. But sometimes niceness can be misconstrued as weak. Should we be nice to everybody? Should we…

— Dave Barry

Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked women. Women's magazines also feature pictures of naked women. This is because the female body…

— Dave Barry

Unless you live in Indonesia, there should be several malls within five miles of your home. It makes no difference whatsoever which…

— Dave Barry

... Once you're safely in the mall, you should tie your children to you with ropes so the other shoppers won't try…

— Dave Barry

The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines staffed by IRS employees, whose…

— Dave Barry

I am absolutely sick unto death of hearing people say - they all say this; it must be Item One on the…

— Dave Barry

You should not use your fireplace, because scientists now believe that, contrary to popular opinion, fireplaces actually remove heat from houses. Really,…

— Dave Barry

I feel like I have more experience with publishing humor than pretty much any editor I'm going to be dealing with so…

— Dave Barry

With a novel, you have the reader with you a lot longer, and you owe him a lot more. Obviously you have…

— Dave Barry

When your Super Bowl guests arrive, they should find a mound of potato chips large enough to conceal a pony sitting in…

— Dave Barry

There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is…

— Dave Barry

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of…

— Dave Barry

The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hotlines staffed by IRS employees, whose idea…

— Dave Barry

The Internet "browser"... is the piece of software that puts a message on your computer screen informing you that the Internet is…

— Dave Barry

When you say you don't think we should have public schools, they can't believe you mean that. You must mean that they…

— Dave Barry

When preparing your return, you should be sure to avoid common mistakes. The two most common taxpayer mistakes, states the IRS booklet,…

— Dave Barry

You men out there probably think you already know how to dress for success. You know, for example, that you should not…

— Dave Barry

SAT tests are designed by huge panels of experts in education and psychology who work for years to design tests in which…

— Dave Barry

Directors are always changing things at the last minute. Actors will do a scene, and the director will say, ‘Okay, that was…

— Dave Barry