Writing Quotes by Dave Barry

Panicky despair is an underrated element of writing.

— Dave Barry

Like all writers, my greatest inspiration, my ultimate muse, is a deadline.

— Dave Barry

I report as a machine; I write as a person. That clear dichotomy softens the transition.

— Dave Barry

Your job is to give people a reason to keep reading.

— Dave Barry

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

— Dave Barry

We should call editorials what they are: columns written by committees.

— Dave Barry

Always remember that if editors were so damned smart, they would know how to dress.

— Dave Barry

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after…

— Dave Barry

Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words!…

— Dave Barry

Alan Zweibel is the funniest writer in the world. He might be even funnier when he's naked, but I'm afraid to find…

— Dave Barry

The older I get and the more fiction I write, the more I outline, the more I think about plot before I…

— Dave Barry

Editorials are written by people who have agreed to have several strong opinions a day and to write them down, provided they…

— Dave Barry

Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic without possessing a shred of…

— Dave Barry

When I'm writing columns, it's - all I'm thinking about is jokes, joke, joke, joke, setup, punch line, joke, joke, joke. And…

— Dave Barry

With humor you have so many options with topics and length, I mean I can write humor essays in books now and…

— Dave Barry

When I write my annual tax column, some ex-IRS agent will complain, "There you go IRS bashing again." They're always saying that…

— Dave Barry

There are terrific TV shows now. This is a golden age for TV humor, I think. There's an actual market there. Of…

— Dave Barry

Many things have been written, including by me, linking humor and pain. Mostly, in my case, the humor part keeps me sane.…

— Dave Barry

If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice…

— Dave Barry

The more boring a newspaper is, the more it is respected. The most respected newspaper in the United States is The New…

— Dave Barry

I always wanted to write when I was a kid; it just never occurred to me that you could have a job…

— Dave Barry

All these people helped make this book possible. But let me make one thing clear: If there are any errors or omissions…

— Dave Barry

The one thing I'm terrified of trying to write about is sex. I mean my God, my wife might read it or…

— Dave Barry

Every year I write a tax advice column and I used to always make fun of that. One year, one of my…

— Dave Barry

I love the resource of the Internet. I use it all the time. Anything I'm writing - for example, if I'm writing…

— Dave Barry

John Dorschner, one of our staff writers here at Tropic magazine at The Miami Herald, who is a good friend of mine…

— Dave Barry

I feel like I have more experience with publishing humor than pretty much any editor I'm going to be dealing with so…

— Dave Barry

I really need to know where I'm going with fiction to write it in a way that at least I'm happy with.…

— Dave Barry

It's very slow for me to create humor. It takes me a long time to write a humor piece. It takes days.

— Dave Barry

I can't recall a story that played out exactly as I'd expected it to. That's one of the thrills of journalism -…

— Dave Barry

I am much more likely to care about someone trying to be funny and give them some credit for whatever he or…

— Dave Barry

...Terry Jackson, who is the Miami Herald's automotive writer and TV critic. That's correct: This man gets paid to drive new cars…

— Dave Barry

I don't even care what Bill Bryson writes about because he will make it interesting. I love "A Walk in the Woods,"…

— Dave Barry

I don't like anything unsigned in a newspaper that purports to be the opinion of some group if we don't know who…

— Dave Barry

I've come to realize that you're going to get criticized no matter what. Somebody will always hate what you write, especially if…

— Dave Barry

I'm always writing new books so I don't dwell on the ones I've already done. I think that's a habit from being…

— Dave Barry

People don't think of writers as sex objects. The women who write to me and suggest that we ought to have sex…

— Dave Barry

When preparing your return, you should be sure to avoid common mistakes. The two most common taxpayer mistakes, states the IRS booklet,…

— Dave Barry

With a novel, you have to have a story. It's much more important to have it matter to the reader what happens…

— Dave Barry