World Quotes by Dave Barry

There are two kinds of people in this world, and I am one of them.

— Dave Barry

Alan Zweibel is the funniest writer in the world. He might be even funnier when he's naked, but I'm afraid to find…

— Dave Barry

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

— Dave Barry

Without good grammar, the United States would have lost World War II.

— Dave Barry

England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.

— Dave Barry

The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only…

— Dave Barry

Today's scientific question is: What in the world is electricity? And where does it go after it leaves the toaster?

— Dave Barry

Scientists tell us that the fastest animal in the world, with a speed of 120 mph, is a cow dropped out of…

— Dave Barry

What's happened to marriage? The wedding-industrial complex. Brides get swept up in this world of obsession - it has to be your…

— Dave Barry

The beer sold here in the United States is sweet and watery and lacking in taste and overcarbonated and just generally the…

— Dave Barry

Disney Resort and World and Compound, a place where your dreams really do come true, if you dream about having people wearing…

— Dave Barry

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can using only their…

— Dave Barry

We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25…

— Dave Barry

I also saw a huge expansion of the Internet, with many major corporations, afraid of being left behind, spending hundreds of millions…

— Dave Barry

A sense of humor is a measurement of the extent to which we realize that we are trapped in a world almost…

— Dave Barry

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized…

— Dave Barry

If women were in charge of all the world's nations, there would be sincerely believe this - no military conflicts, and when…

— Dave Barry

We have been flooded with postal cards from all over the United States and several parallel universes. Just a quick glance though…

— Dave Barry

You can be the smartest person in the world - which Bill Clinton is, and if he's not, his wife is -…

— Dave Barry

The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like…

— Dave Barry

SAT tests are designed by huge panels of experts in education and psychology who work for years to design tests in which…

— Dave Barry

I still think of myself as a newspaper guy and you live by deadlines in the newspaper world, so, they don't really…

— Dave Barry

You can't have a bad time at Disney World. It's not allowed. They have hidden electronic surveillance cameras everywhere, and if they…

— Dave Barry

The thing I have learned, especially in the Internet age, probably the easiest thing in the world is to declare that something…

— Dave Barry

Don't get me wrong. I like Disney World. The rest rooms are clean enough for neurosurgery, and the employees say things like…

— Dave Barry

Never try to put all the chemicals in the entire world in your body at the same time.

— Dave Barry

The best time to go to Disney World, if you want to avoid huge crowds, is 1962.

— Dave Barry

The Olympic movement simply cannot allow the Russians to become estranged, because Russia is a vital part of the world sports community,…

— Dave Barry

What a crock. I could easily overemphasize the importance of good grammar. For example, I could say: Bad grammar is the leading…

— Dave Barry

I am a world-class weenie when it comes to letting people stick needles into me. My subconscious mind firmly believes that if…

— Dave Barry

The hugely popular Windows 95 operating system revolutionized the software world thanks to its capability of accomplishing the seemingly impossible task of…

— Dave Barry

San Francisco leads the world in the category of Most People On The Sidewalk Holding Conversations With Purely Imaginary Companions.

— Dave Barry

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of…

— Dave Barry

I love the Olympics, because they enable people from all over the world to come together and--regardless of their political or cultural…

— Dave Barry

What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted,…

— Dave Barry

You men out there probably think you already know how to dress for success. You know, for example, that you should not…

— Dave Barry

For a while I got into the South Pacific theater of World War II. I read "American Caesar" by William Manchester, the…

— Dave Barry

Speaking of food, English cuisine has received a lot of unfair criticism over the years, but the truth is that it can…

— Dave Barry