Fortunately the boat we rented had a motor in it You will definitely want this feature on your sailboat too, because if… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
...and suddenly it hits you: Human skin is actually made up of billions of tiny units of protoplasm, called "cells"! And what… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
With a novel, you have to have a story. It's much more important to have it matter to the reader what happens… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Wood heat is not new. It dates back to a day millions of years ago, when a group of cavemen were sitting… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This (America) is a land of rich diversity, from the towering skyscrapers of Manhatan all the way to the towering mounds of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I really need to know where I'm going with fiction to write it in a way that at least I'm happy with.… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I feel like I have more experience with publishing humor than pretty much any editor I'm going to be dealing with so… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If you're like most members of the Baby Boom generation, you decided somewhere along the line, probably after about four margaritas, to… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Lobsters displays all three of the classic biological characteristics of an insect, namely: 1. It has way more legs than necessary. 2.… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Your digestive system is your body's Fun House, whereby food goes on a long, dark, scary ride, taking all kinds of unexpected… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The way this country deals with drugs is just not funny. What a waste of everyone's time and effort. What a waste… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I guess nobody assumes anybody is a libertarian. It's a more complex political discussion than most people are used to, to explain… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
RAM: This gives guys a way of deciding whose computer has the biggest, studliest memory. That's important, because the more memory a… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
As long as humanity has been human, it has looked toward the heavens and dreamed that some day, some way, there would… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The best way to understand this whole issue is to look at what the government does: it takes money from some people,… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I've always found relationships, men and women, the fact that they are so radically different, and it manifests itself in so many… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Look, in particular, at the people who, like you, are making average incomes for doing average jobs- bank vice presidents, insurance salesmen,… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I think Twitter is kind of fun, it's not deep and it never will be, but it's a great way to communicate… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
There are also a number of humans living up there (Canada), and in many ways they have a lifestyle quite similar to… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Granted, this system is insane, but we must not let sanity stand in the way of airport security. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Bill Clinton, who, to his credit, has established a clear and consistent foreign policy, which is as follows: Whenever the president of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
