Skip to content

Dollars Quote by Dave Barry

“I'm a humorist. A guy like Paul Simon just makes my life so much simpler. When I was there, he had a hearing against hate. Steven Spielberg came and testified against hate. Paul Simon said hate was bad. Orrin Hatch was there, and he was against hate too. Everyone was opposed to hate. Is this…” quote by Dave Barry — Download Open image

“I'm a humorist. A guy like Paul Simon just makes my life so much simpler. When I was there, he had a hearing against hate. Steven Spielberg came and testified against hate. Paul Simon said hate was bad. Orrin Hatch was there, and he was against hate too. Everyone was opposed to hate. Is this really a wonderful way to spend our tax dollars, to have these men drone away about how against hate they are?”

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 2.3 out of 5 (4 ratings)

Dollars Drones Guy Hate Hearing Humorists Life Men Paul Simon Said Tax dollars Taxes Way Wonderful

More by Dave Barry

This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat…

Image

This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes…

Image

The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That we live in a world were women actually expect you to think thoughtful thoughts, and have real emotions, which we don't have. Having to try to live up to the imaginary ideal that women have of…

The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.

Image

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

Image

Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary…

Image

He was distracted by a giggle, and turned to see a rare sight: a girl.

Image

The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice.

Image

If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things…

Image

Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you…

Image

“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people…

Image

Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money.

Image

Explore all 867 Dave Barry quotes

More Dollars quotes

If I had a dollar for every time I couldn’t sleep, I could buy a billion locks and finally read a book in peace.

Image

This welfare for wealthy companies wastes taxpayer dollars, harms the environment, and makes a mockery of the recent reductions in federal social spending programs.

Image

I love being in Malibu. It's so cool there, and the water is just, it's nice and, and I love the beach. And I…

Image

The greatest charity you can contribute to is yourself. Instead of spending a dollar to help feed hungry children, why not spend that dollar…

Image

If I had a million dollars, I just wouldn't just completely set back. I'd have to get out there and show my face to all these good people who like me, I have to get out there and show my face. The only thing that would set me back if I get sick or something or pass away, that's all…

As far as Japan is concerned, I want to help all of our allies, but we are losing billions and billions of dollars. We…

Image

Some day I'll write a book and call it 'How I Got the Nickname Pumpsie' and sell it for one dollar, and if everybody…

Image

I'm part of a team that raises millions of dollars and raises awareness of HIV and AIDS all over the world.

Linda Evangelista

Image

France has not only built a bureaucratic barrier against American culture, it has constructed a notorious intellectual case against it as well. The French…

Image

Right now, the government is spending billions of dollars supporting the problem-makers in the U.S. economy - the polluters, despoilers, incarcerators, and warmongers.

Image

In short, both experience and economic theory imply that the US could now t to a more competitive dollar without experiencing either increased inflation…

Martin Feldstein

Image

I think we need to talk about mental illness a lot more. People complain about tax dollars and say we don't have the money.…

Image

Browse all 2,853 Dollars quotes