This is the big reason most humorists fail. Drunks don't read books. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
I learned as a young man that I don't write jokes, but that I can deliver more mundane material and get a… — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
I've always been leery of comical artists because I think oftentimes they're hiding the fact that they're not that talented. For example,… — Diego Cortez Copy Share Image
The proverb says, "Born lucky, always lucky," and I am very superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Humorists of the 'mere' sort cannot survive. Humor is only a fragrance, a decoration. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The humorist has a good eye for the humbug; he does not always recognize the saint. — W. Somerset Maugham Copy Share Image
We should make the poor uncomfortable and kick them out of poverty. — Benjamin Franklin Copy Share Image
Humor is really one of the hardest things to define, very hard. And it's very ambiguous. You have it or you don't.… — Heinrich Böll Copy Share Image
I've never made up events, but I've always been a big exaggerator. It's written on my humorist license that I'm allowed to… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
Humor is an escape, because you cannot think about your problems when you are trying to be funny; so, in essence, "being… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If there's anything I hate it's the word humorist-I feel like countering with the word seriousist. — Peter De Vries Copy Share Image
I've always been very upfront about the way I write, and I've always used the tools humorists use, such as exaggeration. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
Neither conservatives nor humorists believe man is good. But left-wingers do. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot… — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
I'm a classic example of all humorists - only funny when I'm working. — Peter Sellers Copy Share Image
The humorist who invented trial by jury played a colossal practical joke upon the world, but since we have the system we… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
When the public starts classifying you as thoughtful, someone given to serious issues, you find yourself declassified as a humorist. — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
HUMORIST, n. A plague that would have softened down the hoar austerity of Pharaoh's heart and persuaded him to dismiss Israel with… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
But pure wit is akin to Puritanism; to the perfect and painful consciousness of the final fact in the universe. Very briefly,… — Gilbert K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
Back when the Bible was written, then edited, then rewritten, then rewritten, then re-edited, then translated from dead languages, then re-translated, then… — David Cross Copy Share Image
