David Cross

In New York, you are constantly faced with this very urgent decision that you have to make, about every twenty minutes...you have…

— David Cross

I read the New York Times, and if I'm in a different city, I'll skim that paper.

— David Cross

I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.

— David Cross

There's the disingenuous duplicitousness, but you can apply that to every politician, really.

— David Cross

I remember being a kid and the Vietnam War was huge and looking at Watergate.

— David Cross

I grew up in that minority. I grew up in the South, in Roswell, Georgia, and it was heavily white, Baptist, conservative.…

— David Cross

I think for a lot of people, it's just where their saturation point was. Once you get into the [Donald] Trump stuff…

— David Cross

It's not about trying to be funny all the time. It's more of a document that hopefully is funny.

— David Cross

I still think that, hopefully, you're not ahead of the jokes, and I think that has value. There is a punchline and…

— David Cross

You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.

— David Cross

Most people who have kids are, "Hey, I want another me. I like me. I'm pretty cool, and I've got really great…

— David Cross

I was in Antwerp - which, I had about 20 shows left at that point - and a guy said, "That's Dave…

— David Cross

In New York there isn't that weird palpable competitive thing where it's friendly but everyone isn't trying to top one another with…

— David Cross

So all my friends have kids now... which I think is rude.

— David Cross

I'm a professional comic. Whether you think I'm funny or not, that's, again, subjective.

— David Cross

I'm concerned about how and why there is no gun control.

— David Cross

I have a few business ideas (that I'm going to advertise in High Times, amongst other places), and one of them is…

— David Cross

I've had plenty of negative reviews. I have my entire life.

— David Cross

The underpinning of immigration concerns is xenophobia and racism and nationalism.

— David Cross

The best thing about me is there are no skeletons.

— David Cross

Once you get into the [Donald] Trump stuff, you get people going, "I didn't come here to have my political views bashed."

— David Cross

I'm finally going to be able to finally criticize [Hillary Clinton] without being accused of being a sexist - that idea. I'm…

— David Cross

I'm of the mindset that most people who have kids are, which is, 'Hey, I want another me. I like me. I'm…

— David Cross

Religion triggers a lot of emotions in me, most of which stem from being raised Jewish in a very Baptist community in…

— David Cross

Back when the Bible was written, then edited, then rewritten, then rewritten, then re-edited, then translated from dead languages, then re-translated, then…

— David Cross