Back when the Bible was written, then edited, then rewritten, then rewritten, then re-edited, then translated from dead languages, then re-translated, then… — David Cross Copy Share Image
High Times magazine is a notch intellectually below Highlights for Children. I mean, they're both great to read when you're baked, but… — David Cross Copy Share Image
It's not that I don't have kids for some personal reason outside of, I just haven't had kids. And I haven't met… — David Cross Copy Share Image
Because you've been on dates where y'know, you forget to open your eyes and wear pants and speak English. — David Cross Copy Share Image
I know this is obviously biased as well, but in my Twitter feed, on my Facebook, 90 percent are gushing, glowing, "Thank… — David Cross Copy Share Image
I'm very vocal about my belief that all religion is garbage. Most of my friends are religious or at least spiritual. These… — David Cross Copy Share Image
[If Donald Trump does get elected, I will be] probably Secretary Of Reeducation. Or I don't know. I'll probably end up working… — David Cross Copy Share Image
I know Dave [Attel] and we're friendly, and I have nothing but respect for him. — David Cross Copy Share Image
In New York, you are constantly faced with this very urgent decision that you have to make, about every twenty minutes...you have to decide,… — David Cross Copy Share Image
I read the New York Times, and if I'm in a different city, I'll skim that paper. — David Cross Copy Share Image
I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner. — David Cross Copy Share Image
There's the disingenuous duplicitousness, but you can apply that to every politician, really. — David Cross Copy Share Image
I remember being a kid and the Vietnam War was huge and looking at Watergate. — David Cross Copy Share Image
I grew up in that minority. I grew up in the South, in Roswell, Georgia, and it was heavily white, Baptist, conservative. And the… — David Cross Copy Share Image
I think for a lot of people, it's just where their saturation point was. Once you get into the [Donald] Trump stuff and the… — David Cross Copy Share Image
It's not about trying to be funny all the time. It's more of a document that hopefully is funny. — David Cross Copy Share Image
I still think that, hopefully, you're not ahead of the jokes, and I think that has value. There is a punchline and it's pointed… — David Cross Copy Share Image
You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy. — David Cross Copy Share Image
Most people who have kids are, "Hey, I want another me. I like me. I'm pretty cool, and I've got really great ideas, and… — David Cross Copy Share Image
I was in Antwerp - which, I had about 20 shows left at that point - and a guy said, "That's Dave Attell's." Also,… — David Cross Copy Share Image
![“[If Donald Trump does get elected, I will be] probably…” quote by David Cross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/c52/david-cross-3386_cafeteria_if-donald-trump-does-get-elected-i-will_1926742.jpg)
![“I know Dave [Attel] and we're friendly, and I have…” quote by David Cross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/276/david-cross-3386_dave_i-know-dave-attel-and-we-re-friendly-and_2447558.jpg)
