Cafeteria Quote by David Cross

“[If Donald Trump does get elected, I will be] probably Secretary Of Reeducation. Or I don't know. I'll probably end up working in the cafeteria.”

David Cross

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Cafeteria Doe Education Ends Ifs Knows Secretary Trump

More by David Cross

In New York, you are constantly faced with this very urgent decision that you have to make, about every twenty minutes...you have to decide,…

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I read the New York Times, and if I'm in a different city, I'll skim that paper.

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I hate bumper stickers, you can't sum anything up. All you do is paint yourself in some caricaturist corner.

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There's the disingenuous duplicitousness, but you can apply that to every politician, really.

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I remember being a kid and the Vietnam War was huge and looking at Watergate.

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I grew up in that minority. I grew up in the South, in Roswell, Georgia, and it was heavily white, Baptist, conservative. And the…

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I think for a lot of people, it's just where their saturation point was. Once you get into the [Donald] Trump stuff and the…

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It's not about trying to be funny all the time. It's more of a document that hopefully is funny.

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I still think that, hopefully, you're not ahead of the jokes, and I think that has value. There is a punchline and it's pointed…

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You cannot win a War on Terrorism. It's like having a war on jealousy.

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Most people who have kids are, "Hey, I want another me. I like me. I'm pretty cool, and I've got really great ideas, and…

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I was in Antwerp - which, I had about 20 shows left at that point - and a guy said, "That's Dave Attell's." Also,…

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It's a really crappy feeling to realize that your entire outook on your life can be controlled by some little pill that looks like…

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I had the lunchbox that cleared the cafeteria. I was very unpopular in the early grades. Because I hung out with my grandfather, I…

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I daydream about a high school where everybody plays the harmonica: the students, the teachers, the principal, the janitor and the cook in the…

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So we stand there, part of a crowd a thousand people strong, beaming up at the sky with wonder. I knew with a sudden…

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Bell Labs Cafeteria, New York, 1943: His high pitched voice already stood out above the general murmur of well-behaved junior executives grooming themselves for…

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Normal people have an incredible lack of empathy. They have good emotional empathy, but they don't have much empathy for the autistic kid who…

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The ruin of the human heart is self-interest, which the American merchant calls self-service. We have become a self-service populace, and all our specious…

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