Carlyle said 'a lie cannot live.' It shows that he did not know how to tell them. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
No one is sane, straight along, year in and year out, and we all know it. Our insanities are of varying sorts,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Suppose . . . burglars had made entry into this . . . [library]. Picture them seated here on this floor, pouring… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
No one can tell me what is a good cigar - for me. I am the only judge. People who claim to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I don't know of a single foreign product that enters this country untaxed, except the answer to prayer. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It's awful undermining to the intellect, German is; you want to take it in small doses, or first you know your brains… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
In the small town of Hannibal, Missouri, when I was a boy, everybody was poor, but didn't know it; and everybody was… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I have attended operas, whenever I could not help it, for fourteen years now; I am sure I know of no agony… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Heaven knows insanity was disreputable enough, long ago; but now that the lawyers have got to cutting every gallows rope and picking… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Always obey your parents. When they are present. This is the best policy in the long run. Because if you don't, they… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
....try the mustard, - a man can't know what turnips are in perfection without mustard. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
As to the human race. There are many pretty and winning things about the human race. It is perhaps the poorest of… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
You don't know about me, without you have read a book by the name of 'The Adventures of Tom Sawyer,' but that… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
You try to tell me anything about the newspaper business! Sir, I have been through it from Alpha to Omaha, and I… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
That is a simple rule, and easy to remember. When I, a thoughtful and unblessed Presbyterian, examine the Koran, I know that… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Data is like garbage. You'd better know what you are going to do with it before you collect it. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
But that's always the way; it don't make no difference whether you do right or wrong, a person's conscience ain't got no… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never could do anything with figures, never had any talent for mathematics, never accomplished anything in my efforts at that rugged… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Comedy keeps the heart sweet; but we all know that there is wholesome refreshment for both mind and heart in an occasional… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
When one reads Bibles, one is less surprised at what the Deity knows than at what He doesn't know. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It was the schoolboy who said, ""Faith is believing what you know ain't so."" — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
This is a Christian country. Why, so is hell. Inasmuch as Strait is the way and narrow is the gate, and few… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you invent two or three people and turn them loose in your manuscript, something is bound to happen to them --… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Begin with the determination to succeed and the work is half done already. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
