So you see, the quality of humor is not a personal or a national monopoly. It's as free as salvation, and, I… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Trial by jury is the palladium of our liberties. I do not know what a palladium is, but I am sure it… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
When I take up one of Jane Austen's books ... I feel like a barkeep entering the kingdom of heaven. I know… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
When I reflect upon the number of disagreeable people who I know have gone to a better world, I am moved to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A person who has a cat by the tail knows a whole lot more about cats than someone who has just read… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There ain't nothing more to write about and I'm rotten glad of it, because if I'd know'd what trouble it was to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
When one has tasted watermelons, one knows what angels eat. It was not a Southern watermelon that Eve took; we know it… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
...we all know that in all matters of mere opinion that [every] man is insane-just as insane as we are...we know exactly… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure. You can "already know for sure" things that… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I am as prompt as a clock, if I only know the day a thing is wantedotherwise I am a natural procrastinaturalist. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man who is not born with the novel-writing gift has a troublesome time of it when he tries to build a… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
an Autobiography is the truest of all books; for while it inevitably consists mainly of extinctions of the truth, shirkings of the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Men are easily dealt with--but when you get the women started, you are in for it, you know. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A jackass has that kind of strength, and puts it to a useful purpose, and is valuable to the world because he… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
When we do not know a person - and also when we do - we have to judge his size by the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It's my opinion that every one I know has morals, though I wouldn't like to ask. I know I have. But I'd… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Does the human being reason? No; he thinks, muses, reflects, but does not reason...that is, in the two things which are the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Begin with the determination to succeed and the work is half done already. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
