What happens after you die? Lot's of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
The American humorist sat on his couch suffering thoughts of her, trying to figure out how to win back her affections, wondering… — Richard Brautigan Copy Share Image
Today the outlandish becomes routine overnight. The humorist is trying to say that it's still outlandish. — William Zinsser Copy Share Image
Avoid using the word 'very' because it's lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don't use very sad, use… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
If you don't count some of Jehovah's injunctions, there are no humorists in the Bible. — Mordecai Richler Copy Share Image
Humor is, I think, the subtlest and chanciest of literary forms. It is surely not accidental that there are a thousand novelists,… — Leo Rosten Copy Share Image
I don't want to be classed as a humorist. It makes me feel guilty. I've never read a good tough quotable female… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
Success in life has nothing to do with what you gain in life or accomplish for yourself. It's what you do for… — Danny Thomas Copy Share Image
There are people who can talk sensibly about a controversial issue; they're called humorists. — Cullen Hightower Copy Share Image
The difficulty with humorists is that they will mix what they believe with what they don't; whichever seems likelier to win an… — John Updike Copy Share Image
I am a comedian but it's usually not a compliment to be called a prop comedian but I guess I sometimes use… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
When a comic becomes enamored with his own views and foists them off on the public in a polemic way, he loses… — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
First, I was an idealist (that was early - fools are born, not made, you know); next I was a realist; now… — Ellen Glasgow Copy Share Image
Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day. — John Bishop Copy Share Image
Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Xmas Trivia: Before it became a major shopping holiday, Christmas is believed to have had a "religious" meaning. — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
As the tragic writer rids us of what is petty and ignoble in our nature, so also the humorist rids us of… — Robertson Davies Copy Share Image
Walking companions, like heroes, are difficult to pluck out of the crowd of acquaintances. Good dispositions, ready wit, friendly conversation serve well… — Brooks Atkinson Copy Share Image
All great humorists are sad... I cannot help seeing beyond the tinsel of humour, and recognising the pitiful basis of jest -… — H. P. Lovecraft Copy Share Image
I think that all comics or humorists, or whatever we are, ask questions. That's what we're supposed to do. But I not… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
By his provocations to good-natured merriment, a humorist of the first water contributes as much to the sum of happiness as the… — Christian Nestell Bovee Copy Share Image
