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Portrait of Roseanne Barr

Roseanne Barr

(1952) Film Actor United States

242 quotes in 1209 categories

Roseanne Barr’s style is unmistakably bold, mixing sharp sarcasm with pointed observations on everyday life. In this collection of 242 quotations you’ll sense her willingness to speak plainly, often with a comedic edge that underscores serious points.

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Roseanne Barr is a film actor from the United States, best known for Roseanne: My Life as a Woman.

Quick Facts About Roseanne Barr

Born: November 3, 1952
Nationality: United States
Profession: Film Actor
Notable works: Roseanne: My Life as a Woman
Spouse: Tom Arnold

About Roseanne Barr

Roseanne Cherrie Barr, also known mononymously as Roseanne, is an American actress, comedian, writer, and producer. She began her career in stand-up comedy, going on to achieve widespread recognition for her work as the eponymous lead character on the ABC sitcom Roseanne, for which she received an Emmy and a Golden Globe.

Biography source: Wikipedia

Awards & Honors

Time 100 Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series GLAAD Vanguard Award star on Hollywood Walk of Fame Lucy Award

Quotes by Roseanne Barr

It's the Night of the Living Dead. It's scary out here.

Life

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Being nuts is its own reward.

Nuts

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I have more money than God, but not as much as Oprah.

God

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My real life is funnier than anything on TV.

Comedy

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Self-esteem is the goddamn root of all evil.

Esteem

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We're not meant to be parents when we're 50.

Meant

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Excuse the mess but we live here.

Cleaning

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I know how to do anything, I'm a mom.

Ability

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I think I should be here alone to rethink the world - I do. I want these lesser humans gone.

Gone

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two things do me in: one's chocolate cake, the other's hypocrisy.

Cake

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You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later you're married to a couch that burps.

Couches

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I have great parents, and they both taught me great things, but my formative years were boundaryless.

Father

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Here is my personal opinion about prostitution. If men knew how to do it, they wouldn't have to pay for it.

Ifs

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Have you heard about the women who stabbed her husband 37 times? I admire her restraint.

Admire

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A good man doesn't just happen. They have to be created by us women. A guy is a lump like this doughnut.

Doughnut

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I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my job.

Alive

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I like facts and data because they help me think clearly, beyond the cultural messages that I ingest unwittingly, and sometimes find…

Data

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Men read maps better than women because only men can understand the concept of an inch equaling a hundred miles.

Birthday

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Just ten of the Jewish billionaires on this Earth have more than enough to transform the occupied territories into heaven. We can…

Billionaire

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As long as your abuser has you scared, you will stay in the cycle of abuse. Thinking of solutions helps you to…

Abuse

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I hold to nothing but envisioning international peace and utopia. We all have many more things in common than not.

Common

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They've said 'Roseanne's nuts' for years, and now I'm going to make that a reality - I'm all about nuts now, macadamia…

Nuts

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Since I had my gastric bypass surgery in 1998, I eat like a bird. Unfortunately, that bird is a California condor.

Bird

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I used to want to be a movie star so I wouldn't have to live in trailers anymore. And now that I…

Life

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This bugs me the worst. That's when the husband thinks that the wife knows where everything is, huh? Like they think the…

Bugs

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TV family sitcoms have always been about fathers who know best and mothers who are so enchanted with everything they do. I…

Being a mom

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I had - after I sang the 'Star Spangled Banner' so badly, after my tragic singing accident, after that, you know, all…

Accidents

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Legalize hemp and allow women to grow it and make food, clothing and housing for pennies from it and legalize marijuana too.…

Clothings

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Whatever helps you sleep is my opinion on the subject, and that's what I like about the western world's most popular religion,…

Approval

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I used to play Barbies with my Mormon neighbor friend; it was always, "Oh, we're going to go on a date. Ken's…

Barbie

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Humanity is a failed experiment, but I think I'm God and I'd like to start over. I don't want to die, I…

Exciting

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I'm tired of watching as men destroy all the world. Everything used to be beautiful when women were in charge, and now…

Beautiful

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“This producer was a woman, a type I became acquainted with at the beginning of my stand-up career in Denver. I cared…

Feminists

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Those who can't do, teach. And, as Woody Allen says, those who can't teach, teach gym. And, as I say, those who…

Answers

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Don't call people names you dirty name caller you.

Dirty

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I'm God because I have the power to control my mind.

Because

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Truth is available to the ears that can hear it.

Available

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Your body is your instrument, you play it expertly.

Body

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Women are cursed, and men are the proof.

Cursed

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I call myself a 'domestic goddess.

Domestic

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Roseanne Barr by topic

People (28) Thinking (23) Marriage (20) Life (19) Men (15) Ifs (14) World (12) Want (12) Knows (12) Husband (12) Children (12) Time (11) Parenting (11) Judaism (11) Problem (10) Inspirational (10) Feminism (10) Writing (9) Trying (9) Real (9) Mother (9) Money (9) Kids (9) Firsts (9) Comedy (9)