I thank God for creating gay men. Because if it wasn't for them, us fat women would have no one to dance… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
Here is my personal opinion about prostitution. If men knew how to do it, they wouldn't have to pay for it. — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
There isn't any New Man. The New Man is the old man, only he whines more. — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
Women of this planet need some essential resources: wells, seeds and roads. That is primarily all we have ever needed. Added to… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
A good man doesn't just happen. They have to be created by us women. A guy is a lump like a doughnut. — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
A good man doesn't just happen. They have to be created by us women. A guy is a lump like this doughnut. — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
Those who can't do, teach. And, as Woody Allen says, those who can't teach, teach gym. And, as I say, those who… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
You can really learn from Donahue. I didn't know you could be a woman in a man's body. You go out and… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later you're married to a couch that burps. — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
Men read maps better than women because only men can understand the concept of an inch equaling a hundred miles. — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
A lot of men are impotent and it's very sad. How many of you are impotent? I see. Can't get your arms… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
I always felt that it was easier to take a funny person and teach them to write television than to take somebody… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
Eat as much as you'd like. My philosophy has always been that all women desire to be as fat as myself but… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
I'm tired of watching as men destroy all the world. Everything used to be beautiful when women were in charge, and now… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
There isn't a problem on this earth that a doughnut cannot make better. — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
I had left home (like all Jewish girls) in order to eat pork and take birth control pills. When I first shared an intimate… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
Pot enables you to think clearly without any fear or any limits. It's a mind-expander, which is part of why it's illegal and why… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
My dad taught me swears when I was a toddler, and I saw, at a really early age, that if I shocked people, I… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
I always was a writer, but then I wanted to do stand-up because I thought that was a way that I could perform what… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
I thank God for creating gay men. Because if it wasn't for them, us fat women would have no one to dance with. — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
“I consider myself to be apretty good judge of people...That's why I don't like any of them.” — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
Sometimes for me not throwing a tantrum is what running a marathon or swimming the English Channel must be like for others of a… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
Here is my personal opinion about prostitution. If men knew how to do it, they wouldn't have to pay for it. — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
Finding a calm place inside myself through meditation kind of helped me to get over a lot of mental illness ... it's just been… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
