Part of my platform is, of course, the guilty must be punished and that we no longer let our children see their… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
In the new world every position of power evacuated by an arrested and beheaded pedophile or bankster will be filled with a… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
I survived my childhood by birthing many separate identities to stand in for one another in times of great stress and fear. — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
I used to play Barbies with my Mormon neighbor friend; it was always, "Oh, we're going to go on a date. Ken's… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
My daughter made me a Jerry Springer-watching kit, with crackers, Cheez Whiz, polyester stretch pants and a T-shirt with two fat women… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
I like it when very little children think for themselves, because they do not have access to car keys or credit cards… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
I figure if the kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job. — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
“I figure when my husband comes home from work, if the kids are still alive, then I've done my job.” — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my job. — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive? — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
I figure if my kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job. — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
There isn't a problem on this earth that a doughnut cannot make better. — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
I had left home (like all Jewish girls) in order to eat pork and take birth control pills. When I first shared an intimate… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
Pot enables you to think clearly without any fear or any limits. It's a mind-expander, which is part of why it's illegal and why… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
My dad taught me swears when I was a toddler, and I saw, at a really early age, that if I shocked people, I… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
I always was a writer, but then I wanted to do stand-up because I thought that was a way that I could perform what… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
I thank God for creating gay men. Because if it wasn't for them, us fat women would have no one to dance with. — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
“I consider myself to be apretty good judge of people...That's why I don't like any of them.” — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
Sometimes for me not throwing a tantrum is what running a marathon or swimming the English Channel must be like for others of a… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
Here is my personal opinion about prostitution. If men knew how to do it, they wouldn't have to pay for it. — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
Finding a calm place inside myself through meditation kind of helped me to get over a lot of mental illness ... it's just been… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
