You can always get better. Nobody can stop you from getting better, and nobody can stop you from trying to make something… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
I'm never going to get married again. Three strikes, you're out. I think if I would try to get married again in… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
I have a fierce eating disorder that has survived even bariatric surgery. I got even fatter after that! Hey, maybe fat people… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
Any Hamas or Zionist type who tries to interfere with the labor unions and grab the money will be marched to the… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
I try to do women's-point-of-view comedy. The joke is, 'This is what I think; there's the truth.' I try to think of… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
I try to tell people to keep having hope. It's always what you don't know and don't expect that's gonna be so… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
You know what, when I was thin, I thought there was a fat girl trying to get out of me. — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
There isn't a problem on this earth that a doughnut cannot make better. — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
I had left home (like all Jewish girls) in order to eat pork and take birth control pills. When I first shared an intimate… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
Pot enables you to think clearly without any fear or any limits. It's a mind-expander, which is part of why it's illegal and why… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
My dad taught me swears when I was a toddler, and I saw, at a really early age, that if I shocked people, I… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
I always was a writer, but then I wanted to do stand-up because I thought that was a way that I could perform what… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
I thank God for creating gay men. Because if it wasn't for them, us fat women would have no one to dance with. — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
“I consider myself to be apretty good judge of people...That's why I don't like any of them.” — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
Sometimes for me not throwing a tantrum is what running a marathon or swimming the English Channel must be like for others of a… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
Here is my personal opinion about prostitution. If men knew how to do it, they wouldn't have to pay for it. — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
Finding a calm place inside myself through meditation kind of helped me to get over a lot of mental illness ... it's just been… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image