I used to play Barbies with my Mormon neighbor friend; it was always, "Oh, we're going to go on a date. Ken's… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
I'm never going to get married again. Three strikes, you're out. I think if I would try to get married again in… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
Illiteracy is a huge problem in America. One in three adults in our country is illiterate. — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
Suddenly, people had three phone numbers but never answered their phones. — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
I always felt that it was easier to take a funny person and teach them to write television than to take somebody… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
When I was three, I fell and I got Bell's palsy in my face. My mom said the first day she called… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
I simply care nothing for any of your religions, as all three are fundamentally flawed, unlike the Church of Common Sense, right… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
I have five kids from three marriages. I come from a trailer park. My sister and brother are both gay. I have… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
There isn't a problem on this earth that a doughnut cannot make better. — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
I had left home (like all Jewish girls) in order to eat pork and take birth control pills. When I first shared an intimate… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
Pot enables you to think clearly without any fear or any limits. It's a mind-expander, which is part of why it's illegal and why… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
My dad taught me swears when I was a toddler, and I saw, at a really early age, that if I shocked people, I… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
I always was a writer, but then I wanted to do stand-up because I thought that was a way that I could perform what… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
I thank God for creating gay men. Because if it wasn't for them, us fat women would have no one to dance with. — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
“I consider myself to be apretty good judge of people...That's why I don't like any of them.” — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
Sometimes for me not throwing a tantrum is what running a marathon or swimming the English Channel must be like for others of a… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
Here is my personal opinion about prostitution. If men knew how to do it, they wouldn't have to pay for it. — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
Finding a calm place inside myself through meditation kind of helped me to get over a lot of mental illness ... it's just been… — Roseanne Barr Copy Share Image
