Bill Hicks

I'll smoke, I'll cough, I'll get the tumors, I'll die, deal? Thank you America. [salutes]

— Bill Hicks

not all drugs are good.. some of them are great

— Bill Hicks

If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn…

— Bill Hicks

I don't do drugs anymore... than, say, the average touring funk band.

— Bill Hicks

How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for…

— Bill Hicks

BTW A 24 week old embryo is not a human being. You're not a human being until you're in my phone book.

— Bill Hicks

Christianity has a built-in defense system: anything that questions a belief, no matter how logical the argument is, is the work of…

— Bill Hicks

I'm just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious...

— Bill Hicks

I was told when I grew up I could be anything I wanted: a fireman, a policeman, a doctor – even President,…

— Bill Hicks

Good comedy helps people know they're not alone. Great comedy provides an answer.

— Bill Hicks

People ask me what I think about that woman priest thing. What, a woman priest? Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests…

— Bill Hicks

Oh sorry, I was taking life seriously.

— Bill Hicks

I can't watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.

— Bill Hicks

I'm not really a heavy smoker any more. I only get through two lighters a day now.

— Bill Hicks

You watch the news these days? It's unbelievable. You think you just walk out your door, you're immediately gonna be raped by…

— Bill Hicks

What's gonna happen to the arms industry when we realize we're all one. Ha ha ha ha ha! It's gonna fuck up…

— Bill Hicks

It is hard to quit smoking. Every one of them looks real good to me right about now. Every cigarette looks like…

— Bill Hicks

“...goodness is murdered, mediocrity thrives...”

— Bill Hicks

Keith Richards outlived Jim Fixx, the runner and health nut. The plot thickens.

— Bill Hicks

What do you say we lighten things up and talk about abortion?...

— Bill Hicks

Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally on our planet, serves a thousand different functions, all of them positive. To…

— Bill Hicks

“You see, I think drugs have done some good things for us. I really do. And if you don't believe drugs have…

— Bill Hicks

One of my big fears in life is that I'm gonna die and my parents are going to come to clean out…

— Bill Hicks

It has become more and more obvious that there is one political party in America, and that is The Business Party.

— Bill Hicks

“I don't want any gay people hanging around me while I'm killing kids. I just don't want to see it.”

— Bill Hicks