If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that's why you giggle the first hour. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
The world's like a ride in a fairground & when you choose to go on it you think it's real, that's how… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I was in Australia…Lotta leg room down under. Apartments: dollar a month. 2000-acre den…think of the parties. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
You watch the news these days? It's unbelievable. You think you just walk out your door, you're immediately gonna be raped by… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
People always snap and think they're Jesus. How come no one ever snaps and thinks they're Buddha? — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is...thinking, 'This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.' — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
How come people always flip and think they're Jesus? Why not Buddha? Particularly in America, where more people resemble Buddha than Jesus.… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I love talking about the Kennedy assasination. The reason I do is because I'm fascinated by it. I'm fascinated that our government… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I got this big fear of doing smoking jokes in my act and showing up five years from now goin' [puts mic… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I used to drink, I did, I had to quit. Man, I was an embarrassing drunk. I'd get pulled over by the… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
You know what I hate about working? Bosses...The very idea that ANYONE could be my boss, well...I think you see the conflict. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I used to drink, I did. I had to quit. Man, I was an embarrassing drunk. I'd get pulled over by the… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
They believe the bible is the exact word of God - Then they change the bible! Pretty presumptuous, hu huh? "I think… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
How about a positive LSD story? Wouldn't that be news-worthy, just the once? To base your decision on information rather than scare… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
When you're...stepping over a guy on the sidewalk...does it ever occur to you to think, 'Wow. Maybe our system doesn't work?' — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That's like going up to Jackie Onassis with a… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I think it's interesting how people act on their beliefs. A lot of Christians, for instance, wear crosses around their necks. Nice… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
How many of y'all wondered, like I did, during the LA riots when those people were being pulled out of their trucks… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
And on the seventh day, god stepped back and said and said, "This is my creation, perfect in every way... oh, dammit… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I don't know what you all believe, and I don't really care ... but you have to admit that beliefs are odd.… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I was in a cab in New York. The cab had a sign, "Please do not smoke, Christ is our unseen guest."… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
That's what I hate about the war on drugs. All day long we see those commercials: "Here's your brain, here's your brain… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Supreme Court says pornography is anything without artistic merit that causes sexual thoughts, that's their definition, essentially. No artistic merit, causes sexual… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
The world is like a ride in an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it you think it's real… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
We killed 6 innocent people, launching 22, I think $3 million apiece missiles on Baghdad...that's a little bit overdoing it. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I'm very tired of staring out into your vacant faces looking back at me. Wanting to fill your empty lives with humor… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
A lotta Christians wear crosses 'round their necks; do you think if Jesus comes back he ever wants to see another cross? — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Marijuana grows naturally...Don't you think making nature against the law seems a bit, I don't know, unnatural? — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
It's all about money, not freedom. If you think you're free, try going somewhere without money, okay? — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I'll smoke, I'll cough, I'll get the tumors, I'll die, deal? Thank you America. [salutes] — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn them. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again?… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
BTW A 24 week old embryo is not a human being. You're not a human being until you're in my phone book. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Christianity has a built-in defense system: anything that questions a belief, no matter how logical the argument is, is the work of Satan by… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I'm just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious... — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I was told when I grew up I could be anything I wanted: a fireman, a policeman, a doctor – even President, it seemed.… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Good comedy helps people know they're not alone. Great comedy provides an answer. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
People ask me what I think about that woman priest thing. What, a woman priest? Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
![“[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is...thinking, 'This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.'” quote by Bill Hicks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/49e/bill-hicks-970_audience_comedy-is-an-escape-from-illusions-the-a_474608.jpg)
![“I got this big fear of doing smoking jokes in my act and showing up five years from now goin' [puts mic to his neck and speaks as if he had a mechanical larynx] 'good evening everybody, remember me, smoking's bad. [puts cigarette to neck and mimics smoking it] Eeww. You ever seen somebody do that?…” quote by Bill Hicks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/8be/bill-hicks-970_bigs_i-got-this-big-fear-of-doing-smoking-jok_612628.jpg)
![“That's what I hate about the war on drugs. All day long we see those commercials: "Here's your brain, here's your brain on drugs", "Just Say No", "Why do you think they call it dope?" … And then the next commercial is [singing] "This Bud's for yooouuuu." C'mon, everybody, let's be hypocritical…” quote by Bill Hicks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/1d7/bill-hicks-970_brain_that-s-what-i-hate-about-the-war-on-drug_2826763.jpg)
![“I'll smoke, I'll cough, I'll get the tumors, I'll die, deal? Thank you America. [salutes]” quote by Bill Hicks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/3d2/bill-hicks-970_america_i-ll-smoke-i-ll-cough-i-ll-get-the-tumor_655.jpg)
