I'm not into those kind of rivalries. I remember standing out in front of Stratford, minding my own business. Carload of about… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I guess what surprised me the most was the discrepancy in casualties: Iraq, one hundred fifty thousand casualties, USA: seventy-nine! Let's go… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I saw a sign on the side of the road in Tennessee once that said 'dirt for sale'... what a great country… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
When you're...stepping over a guy on the sidewalk...does it ever occur to you to think, 'Wow. Maybe our system doesn't work?' — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I can speak for every guy in this room here tonight. Guys, if you could blow yourselves, ladies, you'd be in this… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I was in a cab in New York. The cab had a sign, "Please do not smoke, Christ is our unseen guest."… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
The puppet on the right shares my beliefs, the puppet on the left is more to my liking. Hey...there's one guy holding… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
People are bringing shotguns to UFO sightings in Fife, Alabama. I asked a guy, "Why do you bring a gun to a… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
What strikes me as funny about Elvis is that all the impersonators choose to do the Vegas Elvis; not the young, cool… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
What strikes me as funny about Elvis is that all the impersonators choose to do the Vegas Elvis, not the young, cool… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I'll smoke, I'll cough, I'll get the tumors, I'll die, deal? Thank you America. [salutes] — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn them. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again?… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
BTW A 24 week old embryo is not a human being. You're not a human being until you're in my phone book. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Christianity has a built-in defense system: anything that questions a belief, no matter how logical the argument is, is the work of Satan by… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I'm just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious... — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I was told when I grew up I could be anything I wanted: a fireman, a policeman, a doctor – even President, it seemed.… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Good comedy helps people know they're not alone. Great comedy provides an answer. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
People ask me what I think about that woman priest thing. What, a woman priest? Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
