Let's do some comedy. I always like to add some comedy to my show. Those who've seen me before might know that. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
It's really weird how your life changes. Tonight I'm drinking water. Four years ago? Opium. Night and day, you know? — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right? — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Good comedy helps people know they're not alone. Great comedy provides an answer. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
No one knows what it's like … to be a dustbin … in Shaftesbury … with hooligans … — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I don't get along with anything, I really don't...I'm, I'm, maybe I'm just a, you know, incredibly tasteful human being. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That's faith in action… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
How do I know the Bible isn't the word of God? Well if it was the word of God it would be… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I was over in Australia during Easter, which was really interesting. You know, they celebrate Easter the exact same way we do,… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I believe that the Bible is the literal word of God. And I say no, it's not, Dad. Well, I believe that… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
No, I don't do drugs anymore, either. But I'll tell you something about drugs. I used to do drugs, but I'll tell… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I got this big fear of doing smoking jokes in my act and showing up five years from now goin' [puts mic… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
You know what I hate about working? Bosses...The very idea that ANYONE could be my boss, well...I think you see the conflict. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Oh my God. Lift me up out of this illusion, Lord. Heal my perception that I might know only reality and only… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I was just down in Dallas, Texas...the Assassination Museum...it's really accurate, you know, 'cause Oswald's not in it. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Marijuana grows naturally...Don't you think making nature against the law seems a bit, I don't know, unnatural? — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Mister, I don't want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
You know all the money we spend on nuclear weapons and defence every year? Trillions of dollars? Correct? Trillions. Instead, if we… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
They tell us "Rock'n'roll is the devil's music." Well, let's say we know that rock is the devil's music, and we know… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I don't know what you all believe, and I don't really care ... but you have to admit that beliefs are odd.… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I have something to tell you non-smokers that I know for a fact that you don't know, and I feel it's my… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Supreme Court says pornography is anything without artistic merit that causes sexual thoughts, that's their definition, essentially. No artistic merit, causes sexual… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I'll smoke, I'll cough, I'll get the tumors, I'll die, deal? Thank you America. [salutes] — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn them. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again?… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
BTW A 24 week old embryo is not a human being. You're not a human being until you're in my phone book. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Christianity has a built-in defense system: anything that questions a belief, no matter how logical the argument is, is the work of Satan by… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I'm just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious... — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I was told when I grew up I could be anything I wanted: a fireman, a policeman, a doctor – even President, it seemed.… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Good comedy helps people know they're not alone. Great comedy provides an answer. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
People ask me what I think about that woman priest thing. What, a woman priest? Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
![“I got this big fear of doing smoking jokes in my act and showing up five years from now goin' [puts mic to his neck and speaks as if he had a mechanical larynx] 'good evening everybody, remember me, smoking's bad. [puts cigarette to neck and mimics smoking it] Eeww. You ever seen somebody do that?…” quote by Bill Hicks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/8be/bill-hicks-970_bigs_i-got-this-big-fear-of-doing-smoking-jok_612628.jpg)
![“I'll smoke, I'll cough, I'll get the tumors, I'll die, deal? Thank you America. [salutes]” quote by Bill Hicks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/3d2/bill-hicks-970_america_i-ll-smoke-i-ll-cough-i-ll-get-the-tumor_655.jpg)
