How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Good comedy helps people know they're not alone. Great comedy provides an answer. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Well we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added 'em up all the way back to Adam and… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I saw...a kid on a leash. You seen these people? Kid on a leash? How horrible. Put him in the pound where… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
To me pornography is...spending all your money and not educating the people in America, but spending it instead on weapons. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
We killed 6 innocent people, launching 22, I think $3 million apiece missiles on Baghdad...that's a little bit overdoing it. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I don't identify with anyone historically, but there are several people in the future who I am a dead ringer for. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I believe that the Bible is the literal word of God. And I say no, it's not, Dad. Well, I believe that… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
People often ask me where I stand politically. It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
How come people always flip and think they're Jesus? Why not Buddha? Particularly in America, where more people resemble Buddha than Jesus.… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
People always snap and think they're Jesus. How come no one ever snaps and thinks they're Buddha? — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don't want any gay people hanging around me while I'm killing kids.… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Ever notice that people who believe in creationism look really unevolved? Eyes real close together, big furry hands and feet. "I believe… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I am a misanthropic humanist... Do I like people? They're great, IN THEORY. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Why do we put people who are on drugs in jail? They're sick, they're not criminals. Sick people don't get healed in… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I love talking about the Kennedy assasination. The reason I do is because I'm fascinated by it. I'm fascinated that our government… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
People tell me, 'Bill, let it go. The Kennedy assassination was years ago. It was just the assassination of a President and… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves? — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
On the theft of his material by Denis Leary: "I have a scoop for you. I stole his act. I camouflaged it… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
It's you people dying from nothing that are screwed. I got all sorts of neat gadgets waiting for me...oxygen tent, iron lung. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
We are losing the 'War on Drugs,' which means there's a war going on and people on drugs are winning it. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I began working quite young, writing, growing, maturing, always striving to top myself - to make people laugh hard at things they… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I just have one of those faces. People come up to me and say, 'What's wrong?' Nothing. 'Well, it takes more energy… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
To me, Texas is Austin, a bunch of cool people trying to make a difference. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I'll smoke, I'll cough, I'll get the tumors, I'll die, deal? Thank you America. [salutes] — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn them. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again?… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
BTW A 24 week old embryo is not a human being. You're not a human being until you're in my phone book. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Christianity has a built-in defense system: anything that questions a belief, no matter how logical the argument is, is the work of Satan by… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I'm just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious... — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I was told when I grew up I could be anything I wanted: a fireman, a policeman, a doctor – even President, it seemed.… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Good comedy helps people know they're not alone. Great comedy provides an answer. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
People ask me what I think about that woman priest thing. What, a woman priest? Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
