I'll smoke, I'll cough, I'll get the tumors, I'll die, deal? Thank you America. [salutes] — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I'm an American who loves an America which doesn't exist, which is a land of freedom and free ideas. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I don't identify with anyone historically, but there are several people in the future who I am a dead ringer for. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
It's hard to have a relationship in this business...it's gonna take a very special woman...or a bunch of average ones. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
People always snap and think they're Jesus. How come no one ever snaps and thinks they're Buddha? — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Oh--won't we party hard when L.A. goes kersplash?...L.A. fell in the ocean?... There is a God. He loves us all so much. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I don't get along with anything, I really don't...I'm, I'm, maybe I'm just a, you know, incredibly tasteful human being. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Nonsmokers--this is for you and you only. Ready? Nonsmokers die every day. Sleep tight. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Isn’t that weird, we’ve made nature against the law. That’s how un-natural we’ve become. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
No one knows what it's like … to be a dustbin … in Shaftesbury … with hooligans … — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
That's what I'm gonna do: quit gradually...I'm gonna lose one lung; little while later I'm gonna lose the other one. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Been on what I call my Flying Saucer Tour--appearing in small Southern towns--in front of handfuls of hillbillies. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Man, the Beatles were so high, they let Ringo sing a coupla tunes. Tell me they weren't partyin'. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Do I have a message? Yes, I do. Here's my message: as scary as the world is - and it is -… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Will there be titty? Sure. Boom! I'm a producer. Where you been all our life, boy? We been lookin for you in… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I'll smoke, I'll cough, I'll get the tumors, I'll die, deal? Thank you America. [salutes] — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
If you don't think drugs have done good things for us, then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn them. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again?… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
BTW A 24 week old embryo is not a human being. You're not a human being until you're in my phone book. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Christianity has a built-in defense system: anything that questions a belief, no matter how logical the argument is, is the work of Satan by… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I'm just trying to rid the world of all these fevered egos that are tainting our collective unconscious... — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
I was told when I grew up I could be anything I wanted: a fireman, a policeman, a doctor – even President, it seemed.… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
Good comedy helps people know they're not alone. Great comedy provides an answer. — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
People ask me what I think about that woman priest thing. What, a woman priest? Women priests. Great, great. Now there's priests of both… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
