Nobody's good. I hate it. I truly hate it. I mean, there's a lot of guys doing stuff I admire, but stand-up-wise… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Are we so desperate for entertainment that we will fall for a Trickless magician?? Saw a woman in half. Pull a rabbit… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I realized with Broadway everything written for black people is usually written in the past, and I'm kind of a contemporary guy.… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Guys play characters that won't grow up and something catastrophic happens and they have to grow up to save the day -… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
You know the world's gone mad when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I'll go with the guy with one house. The guy with one house is scared about losing his house. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Kids raised on a culture of ‘We’re not going to keep score in the game because we don’t want anybody to lose.’… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I hate when people go on TV and tell you how hard it is to do animation … No, UPS is hard… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Actually, I think all addiction starts with soda. Every junkie did soda first. But no one counts that. Maybe they should. The… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Every comedian has a moment in his life when he realizes he's a little bit different from everyone else. It's like being… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I'm a nerd. I'm a little guy... the last guy you'd expect in a romantic movie. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I kind of keep my personality in my pocket a lot. When I start to do stand-up, that's not my true personality… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
People basically aren't that racist. They want their laughs. If I make a white guy laugh, he's gonna come see me. He's… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
In the world of animation, you can be anything you wanna be. If you’re a fat woman, you can play a skinny… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
We got no wealthy black people. We got rich people. Shaq is rich. The guy who signs his checks is wealthy. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I hate when people go on TV and tell you how hard it is to do animation. No, no, no. UPS is… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I see guys who can't make 10 percent of what I make, and yet they have four Bentleys, three houses, and four bodyguards. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Every man has to settle down eventually. You know why you gotta settle down eventually? Because you don't want to be the… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I pride myself on being the guy who can do Def Comedy Jam and Charlie Rose. And do well on both. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you're at a strip club, and the sun… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I get approached to do shows all the time. There's a lot of money in sitcoms, but I've never been the kind… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
You want to track Hollywood careers, look in the real estate section. You see a guy buy a house that costs $6… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Show me one guy or woman as funny as Rodney Dangerfield or as good as George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby, or… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
If you live with a single parent, you don't see compromise. You witness a grown person living in a world where they do what… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Nobody ever says, 'Hey daddy, thanks for knockin' out this rent.' 'Hey daddy, I sure love this hot water.' 'Hey daddy, it's easy to… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
You can't think the thoughts you want to think if you think you're being watched. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
There's not one reference in that thing that doesn't play. People deal with emotions in music all the time, but comedians are always talking… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
My mother got sick when I was rich. And my mother, you know … I don’t really want to get into it, but my… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Here's the thing. When we talk about race relations in America or racial progress, it's all nonsense. There are no race relations. White people… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I was raised to believe that you had to do things better than white people in order to succeed. The old black shows were… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
