I took my AlDS test. You start reflecting... You start thinking about every nasty, skank-ass... It's like the movie Scrooge, and the… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
You only know that you're smart because you're around dumb people from time to time! — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I realized with Broadway everything written for black people is usually written in the past, and I'm kind of a contemporary guy.… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Every comedian has a moment in his life when he realizes he's a little bit different from everyone else. It's like being… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
There's always a moment in any stand-up show I do where people are booing. They kinda boo a premise. And then I… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I'm old enough to remember when there were no black quarterbacks - there were no blacks on TV. I hope my son… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I never wanted to churn it out. Comedians tend to work all the time. They never put it down like musicians who… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Relationships, easy to get into, hard to maintain. Why are they so hard to maintain? Because it’s hard to keep up the… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I was raised to believe that you had to do things better than white people in order to succeed. The old black… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
WHEN YOU MEET SOMEBODY FOR THE FIRST TIME, YOU'RE NOT MEETING THEM. YOU'RE MEETING THEIR REPRESENTATIVE. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
When you have kids, there's no such thing as quality time. There's just time. There's no, 'Ooh, his graduation's better than going… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I used to hang out with grandfather all the time because he used to pick me up from school sometimes, or drive… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I've been away from my two daughters at a very important time in their life.'I have missed most of Girl Scout cookie… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I get approached to do shows all the time. There's a lot of money in sitcoms, but I've never been the kind… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Even if you meet the perfect person, it ain’t gonna be at the perfect time. You’re married, they’re single. That’s right. You’re… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I hate when people go on TV and tell you how hard it is to do animation … No, UPS is hard… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I hate when people go on TV and tell you how hard it is to do animation. No, no, no. UPS is… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
If you live with a single parent, you don't see compromise. You witness a grown person living in a world where they do what… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Nobody ever says, 'Hey daddy, thanks for knockin' out this rent.' 'Hey daddy, I sure love this hot water.' 'Hey daddy, it's easy to… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
You can't think the thoughts you want to think if you think you're being watched. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
There's not one reference in that thing that doesn't play. People deal with emotions in music all the time, but comedians are always talking… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
My mother got sick when I was rich. And my mother, you know … I don’t really want to get into it, but my… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Here's the thing. When we talk about race relations in America or racial progress, it's all nonsense. There are no race relations. White people… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I was raised to believe that you had to do things better than white people in order to succeed. The old black shows were… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
