You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
My mother got sick when I was rich. And my mother, you know … I don’t really want to get into it,… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I've been married for 10 years and, you know, it's hard, you spruce it up and you go places. How do you… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Do you know what the good side of crack is? If you're up at the right hour, you can get a VCR… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Never go to clubs with metal detectors. Sure it feels safe inside. But what about all those niggas waiting outside with guns?… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
You know the world's gone mad when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
If you see a black woman with an overweight white man, you know she got effed up credit! — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I always say about my daughters, they save me from my miserable self. They take me out, you know, a comedian, you… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Only black people in the whole neighborhood, so let's break it down: Me, I'm a decent comedian, I'm a'ight. Mary J. Blige,… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I've told Michael Jackson jokes. If you got really technical, you could say those are jokes about child molestation. You could, if… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
An entertainer's reputation as a live act is the most valuable thing he or she can have. If people know you give… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
You only know that you're smart because you're around dumb people from time to time! — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
When I do something good, the audience lets me know immediately. They laugh. That's it. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
For me, anything goes when I pick up a mike. I'm not trying to hurt people - I try not to get… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Whatever your pleasure, I can facilitate. You need weed, you need meth - hey, you need Prozac, I'm your man. I know… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
A lot of racism going on in the world right now. Who's more racist? Black people or white people? Black people. You… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Babies don't know who's rich and who's poor. You love 'em and they're happy. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
You're not famous unless people's mothers know who you are. Everybody else, you think you're famous, but you're just hot, and heat… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
We Americans commercialize everything. Look at what we did to Christmas. Christmas is Jesus' birthday. Now, I don't know Jesus, but from… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
So, to say Obama is progress is saying that he’s the first black person that is qualified to be president. That’s not… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Every man has to settle down eventually. You know why you gotta settle down eventually? Because you don't want to be the… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
See Relationships are hard, man. For order, for any relationship to work, both people have to be on the same page, both… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
If you live with a single parent, you don't see compromise. You witness a grown person living in a world where they do what… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Nobody ever says, 'Hey daddy, thanks for knockin' out this rent.' 'Hey daddy, I sure love this hot water.' 'Hey daddy, it's easy to… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
You can't think the thoughts you want to think if you think you're being watched. — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
There's not one reference in that thing that doesn't play. People deal with emotions in music all the time, but comedians are always talking… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
My mother got sick when I was rich. And my mother, you know … I don’t really want to get into it, but my… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Here's the thing. When we talk about race relations in America or racial progress, it's all nonsense. There are no race relations. White people… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I was raised to believe that you had to do things better than white people in order to succeed. The old black shows were… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
