The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I hope we're not just human garbage drifting toward a big sewer. But I think so. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
If you dropped me off a space platform onto the ground where a line was drawn, I would fall to the left… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I sort of gave up on this whole human adventure a long time ago, divorced myself from it emotionally. It gives me… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I find that an entertainer is quite content to sit still, and I think an artist always has a little motion, always… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I don't see much of a future for this planet. I think it's a cursed planet. The boundaries we've drawn between nations… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
What I became a comedian for was to get my art out. To get some of these feelings and things I had… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
To my way of thinking, there is every bit as much evidence for the existence of UFOs as there is for the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I don't consider myself a cynic. I think of myself as a skeptic and a realist. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I credit that eight years of grammar school with nourishing me in a direction where I could trust myself and trust my… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
When you think about it, attention-deficit order makes a lot of sense. In this country there isn't a lot worth paying attention… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Anyone who's onstage is going to attract a certain number of misguided people. But I was never very interested in groupies. Instead… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I think it would be fair and right to use some of my land and wealth for a drug-rehab center or an… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I think there's a little more attention to human needs than to property rights. But I don't think much of political activism.… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
My tombstone? I'm thinking something along the lines of, 'Geez, he was just here a minute ago.' — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I had run away from home three times. I had been kicked out of three different schools under different circumstances. I was… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Religion has convinced people that theres an invisible man ¦ Living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I don't have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I think that speaks for… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I don`t understand a belief that there is an invisible being in the sky who watches over us all the time and… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I did a lot of thinking, and used mental activity to relieve whatever feelings I had. I became very left-brained, and I… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
