If you dropped me off a space platform onto the ground where a line was drawn, I would fall to the left… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I say things that can be defined as prayers. But I don't pray to a power or ask an entity to intercede… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
They're only words. You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it's an unpleasant truth. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I hope I'm beginning a new cycle of energy and creativity. If so, it'll really be my third career. The first was… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
In Hawaii they say, "aloha." That's a nice one, It means both "hello" and "good-bye" Which just goes to show, if you… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
What I became a comedian for was to get my art out. To get some of these feelings and things I had… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
If God created everything, he's got a serious quality control problem. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
If someone loves you and they leave and don't come back, it was never meant to be. If someone loves you and… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
If a lobster didn't look like a sci-fi monster, people would be less able to drop him alive into boiling water. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Sometimes when I'm told to use my own discretion, if no one is looking I'll use someone else's. But I always put… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
If you have a legal problem, guess how you determine whether or not you need a lawyer. You see a lawyer. Isn't… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
If you had chicken at lunch and chicken at dinner, do you ever wonder if the two chickens knew each other? — George Carlin Copy Share Image
If you live long enough, sooner or later everybody you know has cancer. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You know, if a drug has anything going for it at all, it should be self-limiting. It should tell you when you've… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I believe my first duty is to survive. And I'm not just talking about criminals coming into my home. I once seriously… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
People tell you to have a safe trip, as if you have some control over it. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I profess no belief in God, which by definition is true, especially if we take the accepted definition of God. But to… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I don`t understand a belief that there is an invisible being in the sky who watches over us all the time and… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
By the next one [albom],Occupation: Foole, I was right back into the trip again. I'm more frantic, more breathless. You can hear… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Life is sacred? Who said so? God? Hey, if you read history, you realize that God is one of the leading causes… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I say if you're going to go for the Angel bullshit you might as well go for the Zombie package as well. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
![“By the next one [albom],Occupation: Foole, I was right back…” quote by George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/800/george-carlin-155_albums_by-the-next-one-albom-occupation-foole-i_640899.jpg)
