It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Voting is a meaningless exercise. I'm not going to waste my time with it. These parties, these politicians are given to us… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I feel sorry for confetti. Its useful life lasts about two seconds. And it can never be used again. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Leftovers make you feel good twice. First, when you put it away, you feel thrifty and intelligent: 'I'm saving food!' Then a… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I don't know how you feel, but I'm pretty sick of church people. You know what they ought to do with churches?… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I don't care much about the outcome. I'd like for people to feel better and have better lives, but I don't think… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
All the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes people just want to feel different. And so long as Third World… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I don't really identify with America, I don't really feel like an American or part of the American experience, and I don't… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
That's really a part of my nature , it goes along with autonomy and independence of action - it's just that I… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
As much as I love my family, I enjoy it when the house is empty, because then I know I'm truly alone,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
No one has to come see my shows who doesn't like me talking about white Christians. They are free not buy a… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him.… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I don't think drugs are a problem; I think they're a symptom. As long as Americans are empty, spiritually, emotionally, morally empty,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I thought of myself as an atheist until I realized it was a belief, too. It's a shame everything has to have… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it's because at the moment they're not actually dying. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I'm not a person who thinks they can have it all, but I certainly feel that with a bit of effort and… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I just try to find targets I feel something about and express it my way. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
My books and records are arranged according to subject, and within each subject, they're alphabetical by author or artist. The music tapes… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Have you noticed when you wear a hat for a long time it feels like it's not there anymore? And then when… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The two big mistakes were the belief in a sky god - that there's a man in the sky with 10 things… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Religion - religion, at best - at BEST - is like a lift in your shoe. If you need it for a… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I like to control my environment, because I feel if I have my physical space in order, then I'm free to dream.… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
My money buys me the freedom not to be a member of the corporate structure. And I certainly don't feel guilty or… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The angles of my body show you an awful lot. I started doing coke to feel open, but by that time, the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Personally, when it comes to rights, I think one of two things is true. I think either we have unlimited rights, or… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don't ask me to… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
