Funny Quote by George Carlin Download Open image “You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.” — George Carlin ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 3.9 out of 5 (3 ratings) Copy quoteShare Funny Texas
Texas is not a civilized place. Texans shoot one another a lot. They also knife, razor, and stomp one another to death with some… — Molly Ivins Copy Share Image
In Texas, we have the death penalty, and we use it. That's right. If you come to Texas and kill somebody, we will kill… — Ron White Copy Share Image
Something about Texas I'm not proud of is that our state murdered 37 people last year alone. — Richard Linklater Copy Share Image
Humanism is not alive and well in Texas. Different colors and types of Texans do not like one another, nor do they pretend to. — Molly Ivins Copy Share Image
A born Texan has instilled in his system a mind-set of no retreat or no surrender. I wish everyone the world over had the… — Bill W. Clayton Copy Share Image
Im from Texas. In Texas we have the death penalty and we USE IT! Thats right¦ if you come to Texas and kill somebody,… — Ron White Copy Share Image
USA Today reports that the number of death row executions this year has hit a 35-year low. They attribute that to DNA evidence clearing… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
I've never struggled with that at all. In the state of Texas, if you come into our state and you kill one of our… — Rick Perry Copy Share Image
For the most part, executions happen in obscurity. If people did hear about executions, if they were publicized, even televised, I fear more would… — Wendy Kaminer Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
When you step out and do a song in a musical, the easier thing to do is make it funny. But when those transitions… — Kelli O'Hara Copy Share Image
It's a hard thing to describe. It's just this sense that you got something to say. — Jonah Lehrer Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Congratulations to Facebook on going public with all my private information... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently? — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
