World Quotes by George Carlin

There are only two places in the world: over here and over there.

— George Carlin

Germany lost the Second World War. Fascism won it. Believe me, my friend.

— George Carlin

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

— George Carlin

The base of evil in the world is religion of any kind

— George Carlin

I'm happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.

— George Carlin

I think self-expression is present at all times, and whether or not you're talking about the outside world or your responses to…

— George Carlin

Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.

— George Carlin

It's way beyond ironic that a place called the Holy Land is the location of the fiercest, most deeply felt hatred in…

— George Carlin

Geologists claim that although the world is running out of oil, there is still a 200-hundred-year supply of brake fluid.

— George Carlin

I think of myself as an entertainer: I'm a performing entertainer, I'm a stand-up comic. But there's an artist at work here,…

— George Carlin

On Thanksgiving, you realize you're living in a modern world. Millions of turkeys baste themselves in millions of ovens that clean themselves.

— George Carlin

When you're born in this world you're given a ticket to the Freak Show. And when you're born in America, you're given…

— George Carlin

Somewhere in the world is a doctor who is worse than all other doctors...and someone has an appointment with him in the…

— George Carlin

You're really spread out now, you've got stuff all over the WORLD! You've got stuff at home, stuff in storage, stuff in…

— George Carlin

Military cemeteries around the world are packed with brainwashed dead soldiers who were convinced God was on their side. America prays for…

— George Carlin

The whole problem with the world today: private property. If no one owned anything, it would be a lot better. There's even…

— George Carlin

... the important thing is to, first of all, question everything you read or hear or see or are told. Question it,…

— George Carlin

To my way of thinking, there is every bit as much evidence for the existence of UFOs as there is for the…

— George Carlin

If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on…

— George Carlin

When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will…

— George Carlin

It was the typical paranoid experience [to hide coke]. As soon as I knew my hiding place, I thought the whole world…

— George Carlin

“What exactly is the free world, anyway? I guess it would depend on what you consider the non-free world. And I can't…

— George Carlin

An entertainer is someone who pleases others, and an artist tries to please himself. An artist is on a journey: they don't…

— George Carlin

Most of the note-taking happens while I'm watching television. It's a broad window on the world, and a lot of things are…

— George Carlin

The fact that I didn't finish school left me with a lifelong need to prove that I'm smart, prove it to myself,…

— George Carlin

To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesn't…

— George Carlin

Personally, emotionally, I'd rather divorce myself from the world than face the heartbreak of partial success. Because partial success implies overwhelming failure.

— George Carlin

One of the effects it [cocaine] had on my personality - my moods, my behaviors - was that it inhibited me a…

— George Carlin

When you quit school at an early age, I think you have a lifelong need to show the world - and maybe…

— George Carlin

I often wonder how different the world would be if Hitler had not been turned down when he applied to art school.

— George Carlin

All the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes people just want to feel different. And so long as Third World…

— George Carlin

If there were only one cherry pie in the world, and Bill Clinton owned it, I might get a piece of it.…

— George Carlin

Self-expression is a hallmark of an artist, of art, to get something off one's chest, to sing one's song. So that element…

— George Carlin