Years Quotes by George Carlin

I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius.

— George Carlin

I'm 60 years of age. That's 16 Celsius.

— George Carlin

Im sixty years of age. Thats 16 Celsius.

— George Carlin

What year did Jesus think it was?

— George Carlin

The New Testament is not new anymore' it's thousands of years old. It's time to start calling it the Less Old Testament.

— George Carlin

We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all.

— George Carlin

Geologists claim that although the world is running out of oil, there is still a 200-hundred-year supply of brake fluid.

— George Carlin

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years.

— George Carlin

You live eighty years, and at best you get about six minutes of pure magic.

— George Carlin

People say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process.

— George Carlin

If Helen Keller had psychic ability, would you say she had a fourth sense? What year did Jesus think it was?

— George Carlin

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're…

— George Carlin

We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing

— George Carlin

You know why we're good at it? Because we get a lot of practice. This country is only 200 years old, and…

— George Carlin

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a…

— George Carlin

I was a stonehead for 30 years. I'd wake up in the morning and if I couldn't decide whether I wanted a…

— George Carlin

I've just completed a five-year period that can perhaps best be called a breathing spell. A time of getting my health back…

— George Carlin

The rebellious mood of the country during those [60th] years allowed me to plug right back into my old hatreds. I could…

— George Carlin

There was about a two-year period at the end of the '60s, when I realized I was in the wrong place and…

— George Carlin

So about 80 years after the Constitution is ratified, the slaves are freed. Not so you'd really notice it of course; just…

— George Carlin

When you look at Earth from that one picture, the one from space, it's really a rather attractive thing. I have nothing…

— George Carlin

There is nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine ... been here 4 1/2 billion years. We've been here, what,…

— George Carlin

I never took reds or Quaaludes to balance out the coke. So when it got to be four in the morning and…

— George Carlin

You wouldn't know it, from some of the things I've said over the years, but I like people... I do... I like…

— George Carlin

I credit that eight years of grammar school with nourishing me in a direction where I could trust myself and trust my…

— George Carlin

Life is sacred? Who said so, God? Hey, if you read history you'll realize that God is one of the leading causes…

— George Carlin

You wouldn't know it, from some of the things I've said over the years, but I like people. I do. I like…

— George Carlin

I went to my old school, where all the kids I'd been with for eight years were about to graduate. But the…

— George Carlin

We use up words like 'spiritual' so fast in this culture. Twenty years ago spiritual had a distinct meaning. But now there's…

— George Carlin

I'm never critical or judgmental about whether or not a movie is any good. The way I look at it, if several…

— George Carlin