Every year Steve Kaufman supports the charity “Love Ride” by donating a painting to this cause. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There are now more obese people in the United States than there are overweight people. I think it's safe to say that… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
As they do every year, al-Qaida has threatened to disrupt and ruin Christmas. You know, we already have a group that disrupts… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you've met your… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
According to the Mayans, the world is supposed to end in the year 2012. Are you buying that? When's the last time… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Joe Biden once again denied stories that he will be replaced on the ticket in 2012. He says he will continue to… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I'm glad the government has shut down. Think about it, for the first time in years it's safe to talk on the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Facebook has revealed their estimated net worth - $96 billion. That's almost as much money as businesses lose every year from their… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Supporters of Osama bin Laden want to rename the Arabian Sea after bin Laden's death. They want to call it "Martyr's Sea."… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Disneyland celebrated its 40th anniversary by burying a time capsule. They say it will be dug up in 50 years - or… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush is now focusing on jobs. I think the one job he's focusing most on is his own. The White House… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The White House approved an exemption in Obamacare coverage for Congress and members of their staff. Members complained that the Affordable Care… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Women get a little more excited about New Year's Eve than men do. It's like an excuse: you drink too much, you… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
For years President Obama has been saying that no one would lose their healthcare plan. Now the White House has admitted that… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
It seems that England's royal family is running out of money. They are down to just $1.6 million. Well sure, that's what… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
America Online customers are upset because the company has decided to allow advertising in its chat rooms. I can see why: you… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Halloween's coming. Kids get very imaginative in my neighborhood. Last year, three kids showed up as Goldman Sachs executives and demanded 4.5… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
More bad news for the Taliban. Remember how they are promised 72 virgins when they die? Turns out that it's only one… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Did you know that 10% of all Americans have not had sex in 5 years? I didn't know there were so many Republicans. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Neural scientists at M.I.T. say they can plant false memories in your brain. No, that is not new. Politicians have been doing… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
In South Korea, a scientist considered to be one of the pioneers in the field of cloning has been sentenced to two… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Isn't this amazing? Clinton is getting $8M for his memoir, Hillary got $8M for her memoir. That is $16M for two people… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
In his speech last night, John Kerry said this was the beginning of the end of the Bush administration. I agree. Sure,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The new specialty at the Iowa fair this year is fried butter on a stick. Of course, if you're like me and… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There are over 30 doctors running for the US Congress this year. That's going to be rather strange. Half the time these… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
More details coming out about Michael Jackson. It seems his 13-year-old accuser testified before a grand jury that Michael had seven locks… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There are 249 millionaires in Congress. Remember a couple of years ago when this new Congress told us they had the solution… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
According to geologists, about 100 million years from now, Asia and the Americas will smash together to form one giant supercontinent. The… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Sarah Palin has admitted she tried marijuana several years ago, but she did not like it. She said it distorted her perceptions,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
They say there are something like 12 million illegal immigrants in the country right now, with another half a million coming every… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Actually, Joe Biden looked pretty good. In fact, Joe's popularity has gone from 1% to 2% last week to 3% today. At… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The heaviest snowfall in over 60 years is being reported in Beijing, China. To give you an idea of how bad it… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
American Taliban John Walker Lindh has pleaded guilty to two counts of terrorism and will face twenty years in prison. I guess… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Heating bills this winter are the highest they've been in five years, but President Bush has a plan to combat rising bills.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
They had so much rain in New York that a lot of the cabbies had their first shower in years. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush says he has just one question for the American voters, 'Is the rich person you're working for better off now… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
We ought to thank President Bush. He made it a lot easier for people to do taxes this year. No job, no… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Former U.S. House Majority Leader, Tom DeLay, has been sentenced to three years in prison. One year for money laundering and two… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
USA Today reports that the number of death row executions this year has hit a 35-year low. They attribute that to DNA… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Scientists are complaining that the new dinosaur movie shows dinosaurs with lemurs, who didn't evolve for another million years. They're afraid the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
