Iraq Quotes by Jay Leno

U.N. weapons inspectors found empty chemical warheads in Iraq. So, the question everyone is asking now is how did Sean Penn miss…

— Jay Leno

All of Iraq's oil fields are under U.S. control which is ironic considering all the gas stations here are run by Middle…

— Jay Leno

According to CNN, Donald Rumsfeld said the war in Iraq did not go according to plan. And President Bush said, 'What? We…

— Jay Leno

John Kerry has apologized for saying those who do not study hard and do their homework will get stuck in Iraq. Now,…

— Jay Leno

“They keep talking about drafting a constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot…

— Jay Leno

Saddam Hussein has invited members from the U.S. Congress to visit Iraq. Man how stupid is Hussein? If you think Bush had…

— Jay Leno

It's just a matter of time before we go into Iraq and get Saddam Hussein. I think just before Bush falls below…

— Jay Leno

A lot of American companies are now moving into Iraq. Iraq now has Pizza Hut, Subway, Taco Bell and Popeye's fried chicken.…

— Jay Leno

Speaker John Boehner complained that Barack Obama ordered the U.S. military into combat in Libya without clearly defining the mission to the…

— Jay Leno

John Kerry now getting slammed by the Republicans because of a botched joke he did about President Bush and Iraq in a…

— Jay Leno

As you know, John McCain is an older, white-haired man who has been in the Senate for over twenty years, voted for…

— Jay Leno

In a speech earlier today President Bush said if Iraq gets rid of Saddam Hussein, he will help the Iraqi people with…

— Jay Leno

President Bush said it's now time for a change in Iraq and he wants them to have a Western-style democracy like ours.…

— Jay Leno

President Bush announced tonight that he believes in democracy and that democracy can exist in Iraq. They can have a strong economy,…

— Jay Leno

You know what really makes this embarrassing? The other day the president said the leaders in Iraq are 'ready to take off…

— Jay Leno

Iraq began destroying those missiles they don't have over the weekend. See, President Bush may be the smartest military president in history.…

— Jay Leno

In an interview with Rolling Stone, Senator John Kerry, who is running for president, said that when he voted for the war…

— Jay Leno

Big news on CNN, a search has uncovered illegal biochemical agents, toxins and other dangerous substances. Not in Iraq, in Rush Limbaugh's…

— Jay Leno

Well, it looks like we've moved a step closer to war. Not with Iraq. With France and Germany. How did we screw…

— Jay Leno

Experts say that if we go to war with Iraq, oil could reach as much as $80 a barrel. Of course, after…

— Jay Leno

President Bush admitted that the United States went to war in Iraq based on bad intelligence. But he says knowing what we…

— Jay Leno

Over in Iraq after you vote they paint your finger purple so you can't vote again. It's a flawless system. It works…

— Jay Leno

American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants…

— Jay Leno

House Speaker John Boehner says President Obama should have clearly outlined his exact plans before bombing Libya. Apparently it's only Iraq where…

— Jay Leno

According to a new geographic literacy study 4 out of 10 American students couldn't find Iraq on a map. However 10 out…

— Jay Leno

The big rumor going around is, we may begin bombing Iraq. Or, as the White House calls it, Operation Keep Enron Off…

— Jay Leno

A lot of controversy over this possible invasion of Iraq. In fact, Nelson Mandela was so upset, he called Bush's dad. How…

— Jay Leno

In his speech President Bush said we need to rebuild Iraq, provide the people with jobs, and give them hope. If it…

— Jay Leno

They said that President Bush's war in Iraq has cost the former Spanish Prime Minister his job. So President Bush isn't losing…

— Jay Leno

For the first time the people of Iraq are united. Today on CNN I saw a Kurd, a Shiite and a member…

— Jay Leno

In California, 50 women protested the impending war with Iraq by lying on the ground naked and spelling out the word peace.…

— Jay Leno

Some Democrats say the estimated $60 billion dollar cost of a war with Iraq could be better spent at home. When he…

— Jay Leno

The French announced today that they would not help us remove Saddam from Iraq. Well Duh! They didn't even help us remove…

— Jay Leno

I don't know why people are surprised the French don't want to help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France…

— Jay Leno

The Democrats say that President Bush doesn't have an exit strategy for Iraq. Of course he does. If things don't go well,…

— Jay Leno

Twenty-one years ago today Saddam Hussein was first elected president of Iraq and he has been re-elected ever since. Apparently they have…

— Jay Leno

The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, they're all…

— Jay Leno

CNN said that after the war, there is a plan to divide Iraq into three parts: regular, premium and unleaded.

— Jay Leno

Did you hear that we're writing Iraq's new Constitution? Why not just give them ours? We're not using it anymore.

— Jay Leno

As we head to war with Iraq, President Bush wants to make one thing clear: This war is not about oil. It's…

— Jay Leno