Trump Quotes by Jay Leno

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.

— Jay Leno

Really? Anyone intimidated by Barack Obama? He can't even keep Joe Biden in line.

— Jay Leno

Romney raised $10 million. That’s a dollar for every position he’s had on healthcare.

— Jay Leno

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

— Jay Leno

If politicians all told the truth, we'd be out of business.

— Jay Leno

It looks like President Obama has a new campaign slogan: 'Yes I Did.'

— Jay Leno

The good news is, President Obama was born in America. The bad news is, so was Donald Trump.

— Jay Leno

Inauguration Security was tighter than Kirstie Alley in a pair of spandex pants.

— Jay Leno

Today, President Barack Obama promised to 'detect and pursue' American tax evaders, as opposed to his first 100 days, in which he…

— Jay Leno

We had President Obama on the show last night. I think the president enjoys visiting NBC because we're the only place that…

— Jay Leno

Rick Perry has made so many gaffes lately, it is hard to tell if he's running against President Obama or Joe Biden.

— Jay Leno

Hillary Clinton said she hopes America is ready for a woman in the Oval Office. That was the great thing about her…

— Jay Leno

Howard Dean is a politician, a medical doctor and a Democrat. So he has three reasons to tell women to take off…

— Jay Leno

Barack Obama's mother-in-law might be moving into the White House with him. Joe Biden was right. Hostile forces will test him in…

— Jay Leno

A Newsweek poll said if the election were held today, John Kerry would beat Bush 49 percent to 46 percent. And today,…

— Jay Leno

President Bush fell off his bicycle this weekend and you know what was really sad? It's a stationary bike.

— Jay Leno

Is it me or is President Bush's life starting to sound like a country song. He's from Texas, his dog just died,…

— Jay Leno

John Kerry fell off of his bicycle over the weekend. He went for a Sunday afternoon ride, fell off in front of…

— Jay Leno

Kerry has already begun his search for a running mate. They say that because John Edwards still has $50 million in campaign…

— Jay Leno

Barack Obama said yesterday that the economy was 'going to get worse before it gets better.' See, that's when you know the…

— Jay Leno

John Kerry's victory over Howard Dean has completely changed the presidential race around. Now instead of the rich white guy from Yale…

— Jay Leno

In Chicago some anti-Mitt Romney protesters told reporters they're being paid to protest. They said they're being paid by Democrats to stand…

— Jay Leno

The big story now is that President Bush is coming under attack for his service in the National Guard. The White House…

— Jay Leno

The Boston Globe is reporting that Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry used to date actress Morgan Fairchild but it didn't work out.…

— Jay Leno

John Kerry is recovering nicely after having prostate surgery. But the doctors did tell him it would be several months before he…

— Jay Leno

In an interview with Rolling Stone, Senator John Kerry, who is running for president, said that when he voted for the war…

— Jay Leno

So, Wesley Clark is running for president. Pretty amazing guy. Four star general, first in his class at West Point, supreme commander…

— Jay Leno

Hillary Clinton said that her childhood dream was to be an Olympic athlete. But she was not athletic enough. She said she…

— Jay Leno

Howard Dean dropped out of the race today. At least he can't claim his voice wasn't heard.

— Jay Leno

John Kerry said today he wants to debate President Bush once a month. Hey good luck, if Bush couldn't make it to…

— Jay Leno

Barack Obama spent his first day as president-elect putting together his transition team. And if you believe MSNBC, by tomorrow he will…

— Jay Leno

Yesterday in New York City, Donald Trump officially changed his political affiliation from Republican to Independent. And Donald's hair has switched from…

— Jay Leno

Joe Biden once again denied stories that he will be replaced on the ticket in 2012. He says he will continue to…

— Jay Leno

Not a good night for President Obama. He lost elections in Virginia, New Jersey, and he's not doing good in Afghanistan either.

— Jay Leno

Did you know Bill and Hillary Clinton were born under the same sign? Know what sign? 'For Sale.'

— Jay Leno

The White House softball team played the pro-marijuana lobbyists' team and lost 25-3. Still no word yet on which side President Obama…

— Jay Leno

President Obama wants to raise taxes on the country's richest people. And you thought Donald Trump hated him before.

— Jay Leno

I think Donald Trump and Jeb Bush are the frontrunners. It's kind of like the race between the tortoise and the bad…

— Jay Leno

President Obama’s approval ratings are so low now, Kenyans are accusing him of being born in the United States.

— Jay Leno

The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree...and think 25 to life would be appropriate.

— Jay Leno