Casey Anthony was found not guilty. This means that President Obama’s economic team is only the second-most clueless group in America. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Actually, Joe Biden looked pretty good. In fact, Joe's popularity has gone from 1% to 2% last week to 3% today. At… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
When a candidate walks away from a reality show, that's when you know they're serious about being president of the United States. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
A new poll shows that Americans now believe that Bill Clinton is more honest than President Bush. At least when Clinton screwed… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Yesterday all five living presidents gathered for the opening of the George W. Bush presidential library in Dallas. Well, six living presidents… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Donald Trump says he’s President Obama’s worst nightmare. That’s not true. Having to make a decision is Obama’s worst nightmare. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
When President Chirac gave [President] Bush a souvenir statue of the Eiffel Tower... Bush said 'This is great! A little oil rig!' — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Republicans are calling the Bush-Cheney ticket the 'Wizard of Oz' ticket. One needs a heart and the other needs a brain. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry reportedly flew in his private hairdresser before his "Meet the Press" interview for a total cost of $1,000. That's $1,000… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Here's some exciting news - according to The New York Post, both Al Gore and John Kerry are thinking of running for… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton is now facing a kind of personal dilemma. She can't decide whether to drop the name Clinton from… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama announced this week that he is going to start sending out his own messages personally on Twitter. And today Anthony… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
With the presidential debates right around the corner, John Kerry is going to play Mitt Romney to help the President prepare for… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry keeping a low profile this week. He said he wanted to get away and go someplace where no one would… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The New York Times is reporting that back in the '60s, presidential candidate Howard Dean used a letter from a doctor about… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Senator Kerry recovering very nicely after having shoulder surgery. The doctors said the senator was fully awake, lucid and joking after the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The big winner last night in New Hampshire - Senator John Kerry. He won 39 percent of the vote, which is pretty… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Gray Davis got some good news this week: the Clintons are out here in California campaigning for him. Actually, Hillary is campaigning… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry speaks French fluently. Democrats are saying he's one in a million. A war hero who speaks French, isn't it more… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Over in Iraq after you vote they paint your finger purple so you can't vote again. It's a flawless system. It works… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You know who Boehner is, right? He's that orange looking guy. See, for Republicans that counts as diversity. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You know what you call the two winners of that $580 million PowerBall lottery? ... Former Democrats — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Pundits are saying that President Obama is starting to lose support among his own party. To give you an idea of how… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Howard Dean was endorsed by Al Gore. Now, if Dean could get Gray Davis to campaign for him, that would put him… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry accused President Bush of catering to the rich. You know, as opposed to John Kerry who just marries them. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I'm a staunch Independant. Every time I think I am a Republican, they do something greedy, and every time I think I… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Now the Democrats control the Senate. But the good news is that now the Republicans can admit that Strom Thurmond has been… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama has begun a three-state bus tour. I believe the three states are: Confusion, Delusion, and Desperation. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
In an exclusive interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network Donald Trump said "I believe in god." But of course The Donald was… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
One critic in the L.A. Times said John Kerry looks like he is thinking too much. Well this is one place President… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
It really kind of looks like now that John Kerry is on his way to the presidential nomination. The only thing that… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Isn't this amazing? Clinton is getting $8M for his memoir, Hillary got $8M for her memoir. That is $16M for two people… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama met with leaders of the American Indian tribes and they honored the president by giving him his own Indian name:… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Well, Joe Biden has done it again. He showed up at the White House Passover Seder with a bunch of ham sandwiches. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Republicans are always criticizing President Obama for using the teleprompter. Is that a big deal? After eight years of George Bush, I'm… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
General Wesley Clark commented on Gore endorsing Howard Dean. He said endorsements don't win elections. Hey, in this country, votes don't even… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry announced that he and his wife are leaving on a week-long vacation. He's going to take her back to the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Rumors have restarted that the Republican ticket will not be Bush-Cheney. But today those rumors were put to rest when Cheney said,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
On 'Meet the Press' yesterday President Bush was asked what he would do if he lost the election and Bush said, ''Phhh,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The first lady said about her husband, 'I could take up a whole afternoon talking about his failures.' And today she was… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Here is your government at work. A congressman from Colorado said he wants to draft a rule that would make it unethical to have… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Jack Abramoff is going to testify against some of the other weasels in Congress. A lobbyist testifying against congressmen? How many Bibles are going… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Tomorrow, America's most famous hockey mom, Sarah Palin, will drop the ceremonial first puck at the Philadelphia Flyers game. Right afterwards, she'll get out… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
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