Trump Quotes by Bill Maher

Republicans are taking the defeat over Health Care as well as Tiger Woods took to marriage.

— Bill Maher

You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.

— Bill Maher

I think Mitt Romney is a symptom. I think the problem is the Republican Party.

— Bill Maher

Between Ron Paul and Rick Perry, I think the lesson is don't get sick in Texas.

— Bill Maher

The Republicans proved they are not the party of 'no.' They're the party of 'f**k, no!'

— Bill Maher

I'll show you Obama's birth certificate when you show me Sarah Palin's high school diploma.

— Bill Maher

There is no such thing as a moderate Republican anymore.

— Bill Maher

Conservatives claim [Hillary] Clinton campaign involved in satanic 'spirit cooking'.

— Bill Maher

Bush the younger has two things going for him that his father never had. One: an easy charm with regular people and…

— Bill Maher

I'm okay with it now that Obama’s in office. I'm kind of trusting of him. But President Ted Cruz? Where this is…

— Bill Maher

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally -…

— Bill Maher

London. Another terrorist attack and ISIS claimed credit. I am surprised because I thought we had wiped out ISIS on day one…

— Bill Maher

George Bush says, 'Gore's book needs a lot of explaining.' Of course, Bush says that about every book.

— Bill Maher

Between trying to impeach Bill Clinton, Florida 2000, and the recall in California, I'm beginning to think that Republicans will do anything…

— Bill Maher

Last week, I suggested the candidates take up mushrooms. I'll be damned if Rick Perry didn't take me up on that.

— Bill Maher

Today Obama was seen leaving the White House in a nurse's uniform on a flight to Cuba to smother Castro with a…

— Bill Maher

If you can look at a crime where everything points to one answer and not see it, you're a dumb-ass. And if…

— Bill Maher

New Rule: All Fox News employees must now refer to President Bush as "my liege". If they are going to treat President…

— Bill Maher

“New Rule: It's okay for the president to play ball in the house. It's easy to judge and say this scene detracts…

— Bill Maher

Being politicians, they all got to sharing their personal stories. Obama talked about his mother's battle with cancer. Harry Reid talked about…

— Bill Maher

I said something recently about how the president [Barak Obama] should stop trying to placate the crazies and the right wing and…

— Bill Maher

Newt Gingrich was campaigning at a zoo this week and he was bitten by a penguin. Newt Gingrich is always campaigning at…

— Bill Maher

I think there is a problem, though, with the media gushing over [Obama] too much. I don't think he thinks that he's…

— Bill Maher

I find it ironic that Republicans have such disdain for the lazy, and yet their solution to every problem is do nothing.…

— Bill Maher

Republicans don't have to accept evolution, economics, climatology, or human sexuality, but I just watched a week of their national convention, and…

— Bill Maher

There is a big difference between a disappointing friend and a deadly enemy. Of course the Democrats are disappointing. That's what makes…

— Bill Maher

Well, the American public always wanted to vote for a guy — and Bush was the perfect guy — who they'd want…

— Bill Maher

Karl Rove described Obama as "the guy at the country club with the beautiful date, holding a martini, and making snide comments…

— Bill Maher

We learned this week that Mitt Romney is building a car elevator in his house. An elevator for your cars. I get…

— Bill Maher

Over the last 30 odd years, Democrats have moved to the right and the right has moved into the mental hospital. So…

— Bill Maher

“New Rule: Democrats must get in touch with their inner asshole. I refer to the case of Van Jones, the man the…

— Bill Maher

I never thought I'd say this, what Obama needs in his personality is a little George Bush.

— Bill Maher

Obama is not a secret Kenyon, or a secret Muslim, he's a secret Republican.

— Bill Maher

In the Republican party, crazy is a constituency.

— Bill Maher

Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show.

— Bill Maher

Republicans look to find the future and they find radio.

— Bill Maher

I can't believe I'm saying this, but Obama looks like he DOES need a teleprompter.

— Bill Maher

Thanks [Donald] Trump for exposing evangelicals as 'shameless hypocrites'.

— Bill Maher

It's going to be Perry, it's going to be Romney...It's sort of a battle for the soul of the Republican Party -…

— Bill Maher

Why did Mitt Romney strap his dog to the roof of his car? Could it be because his station wagon was full…

— Bill Maher