I think the news people no longer have any idea of what covering the news is. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Between Ron Paul and Rick Perry, I think the lesson is don't get sick in Texas. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
In fact, because people are religious, they think they can do bad things. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I think Mitt Romney is a symptom. I think the problem is the Republican Party. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I think what's dangerous is the idea that someone can wash away your sins. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Faith means making a virtue out of not thinking. It's nothing to brag about. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You would think there is a higher bar than having a Facebook page to run for president. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I think I know now why we are occupying Iraq. In case we have to sell America and move to a smaller… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Some people think I enjoy debate. I don't. I wish everyone agreed with me; it would save a lot of time. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think religion stops people from thinking. I… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Halloween is a day when we all get to fool people into thinking we're someone else. Or as Mitt Romney calls it,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
People are either good or they're not. Religion doesn't make anybody good, I don't think. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I think Democrats are complacent. They think that Russia is going to save us. Bob Mueller is going to come in with… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Do you think it's possible that when we're on something like marijuana or mushrooms and we believe we're having a really spiritual… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I think the reason why more rapists go into the military is the same reason why predators go into the Catholic Church.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
John Kerry made a joke about Bush being a moron, and now Bush wants morons to think it was a joke was… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't think all life is precious. I know people say that all the time, "Life is precious." I think some life… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I think we need to change that old saying, "I don't need a building to fall on me." Because two did and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Attorney General John Ashcroft is in intensive care. He's suffering from a severe case of pancreatitis, which they can't really figure out… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If you think Democrats are going to take away your Bible, you're an idiot. If you think they are going to take… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: If you still think Obama is a Muslim, you just might be a redneck. A Christian church in South Carolina… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I'd like to protect children, too, but... is everything worth sacrificing to that? I mean, drugs have done a lot of good...… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Religion, it stops people from thinking because they think all the answers are in that one book; it impedes progress; it justifies… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I want you teabaggers out there to understand one thing: while you idolize the Founding Fathers and dress up like them, and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I'm definitely good. I'm not bad; I'm extremely honest, and I allow no bullshit to pass by my radar. And that will… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Reverend Ted Haggard's followers still think he's not gay. I'm not kidding. In their world, there are no gay people. There are… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
People, especially the liberals, just live in this world where if anything is said that offends anybody even a little bit, not… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Americans are finally coming to a point where they're accepting of religious criticism, is because George Bush is the first president who… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
...what I love about Ann Coulter is that she's sort of the-she's sort of a version of myself in that she absolutely… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Naturally the smart thing to do to solve your economic woes is to demonize the Democrats. And of course, Sarah Palin is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I want to just take a moment to thank the Teabaggers. Thank you so much for helping us pass health care, for… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
There are people who think everything is a conspiracy and I think they're crazy. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Faith means the purposeful suspension of critical thinking. It’s nothing to be admired. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I just don't think a lot of Republicans like it when single women have sex. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If I thought the Lord was speaking to me I'd check myself into Bellevue, and I think you should too. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
As a loyal American and I think a patriotic American, no, I don't want Sarah Palin to be president. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad's room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
