I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Romney, Gingrich, Santorum spent their week lecturing America about the morality of birth control. You know, you guys don't need birth control,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Oh, America! I could never leave you! You're like my dog, dumb as a post but you make me laugh! — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“We were asked to do very little, and we responded. That's the bargain we tacitly make with our presidents: we won't ask… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
America is like a dog. I'm sorry, but it is. It cannot understand actual words. It understands inflection. It understands fear. But… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Marvel Comics announced that the next Captain America will be black. He has the same powers as white Captain America, except he… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
All across the Middle East in the streets, people are demanding democracy. It's amazing. The only way in America you get people… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I think I know now why we are occupying Iraq. In case we have to sell America and move to a smaller… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“Too many in America lead with their emotions when it comes to the flag, becoming illogically protective.Hell, the British treat their national… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
That's America for you - a red herring culture, always scared of the wrong things. The fact is, there are a lot… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“After September 11th, I never much liked the trend of everyone and his brother wearing the hats and jackets of the NYPD… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Again, (America is) a stupid country with stupid people who don't pay attention. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Karl Rove described Obama as "the guy at the country club with the beautiful date, holding a martini, and making snide comments… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You know, the only place in America where the millionaires and billionaires are predominantly liberal is here in Hollywood. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
In America, if a Democrat even thinks you're calling him liberal he grabs an orange vest and a rifle and heads into… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
What's going to be hard for the United States is that our policy for a long time has been a two-state solution;… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“Forget bringing the troops home from Iraq. We need to get the troops home from World War II. Can anybody tell me… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“Claiming "the budget can't allow it" reminds me of when you walk into a restaurant at a civilized hour like ten o'clock… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: This Valentine’s Day Americans must remember that politicians are like a box of chocolates. We bite into them to find… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Apple's next device must be a computer that you control with your tongue. Thanks for eliminating the keyboard and the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
40% of homicides go unsolved. You know, it's not a very good record. And, also, 95% of convictions in America come from… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The [Libyan] rebels this week kind of hinted to the United States that they could use a little help. Right. Like, America… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
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