The president boasted at the top of his press conference that we have the support now of Britain and Spain for our… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
When you want to make it clear to the rest of the world that you are not an imperialist, the best countries… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
In Republican fantasy world, everything is always Obama's fault. Somehow, he's weak and he's ineffective, and yet he pulls the strings on… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
In the Muslim world, much of it, they cannot conceive of something coming out of the United States that wouldn't be sanctioned… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I was just at the newly opened Creationist Museum in Kentucky.... And they have this exhibit of a giant dinosaur...with a saddle… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
People, especially the liberals, just live in this world where if anything is said that offends anybody even a little bit, not… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
There's more than one mosque in the world that used to be a church and before that was a temple. Because it's… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You know, if you're an American and you're born at this time in history especially, you're lucky. We all are. We won… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
40% of homicides go unsolved. You know, it's not a very good record. And, also, 95% of convictions in America come from… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Amazon has included me in an opportunity to provide top-shelf television-style programming live on the world's computer screens. To hold forth with… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The rebel army in Libya is just like 1,000 guys in Toyota trucks. The world is asking the question; can 1000 anti-government… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I understand we're on our way to being a Third World country. Could we just stop at 'Second World' before we get… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: The rest of the world can go back to being completely jealous of America. Our majority white country just freely… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Well, that's exactly the wrong attitude. That is not the attitude they had in World War II. You're attitude is that freedom… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Anything is depressing if you dwell on it. The fact that religion could end the world? Yeah, I guess that could be… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Reverend Ted Haggard's followers still think he's not gay. I'm not kidding. In their world, there are no gay people. There are… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If nobody is clear on what you're protesting, it's not a protest. Thousands of people gathered in London this week to voice… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I mean, maybe one day we will live in a more optimum world where terrorists come in every color of the rainbow.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Sex is too easy for women to get, and too hard for men. I mean, honestly, for a man to walk into… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
All I'm saying, as a fan, is I'm tired of the same song for 30 years. Can't we change the message a… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If you believe that the world is going to come to an end - and perhaps any day now - does it… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I said I didn't respect religion... and anyone who believes in fairy tales to answer questions that we can't answer... So I… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Married men live longer. Yes. And an indoor cat also lives longer. It's a furball with a broken spirit, that can only… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image