If you ignore every single thing Jesus told you to do, you are just auditing. You're not a Christian. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
In today's Republican Party, there's a term for people who hate charity and love killing: 'Christian.' — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
In fact, because people are religious, they think they can do bad things. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
People are either good or they're not. Religion doesn't make anybody good, I don't think. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“Women are also property in our bible; adultery is a property crime in the Old Testament, not a sex crime.” — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I love Jesus. I just don't like the Christians who don't believe in what he says. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
In America, you’re allowed to justify almost any kind of bigotry, sexism, or intolerance if you source it to God’s big book… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If you belonged to a political party or a social club that was tied to as much bigotry, misogyny, homophobia, violence, and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think religion stops people from thinking. I… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Religion, it stops people from thinking because they think all the answers are in that one book; it impedes progress; it justifies… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“Jesus is great -- is there a better role model? No. It's religion, it's the people who get in between -- the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Anything is depressing if you dwell on it. The fact that religion could end the world? Yeah, I guess that could be… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If you belonged to a political party or a social club that was tied to as much bigotry, misogyny, homophobia, violence, and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“My personal savior is common sense. And as far as God goes, I prefer to believe in one that would want me… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Religions are maintained by people. People who can't get laid, because sex is the first great earthly pleasure. But if you can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we go back to the beginning, we shall find that ignorance and fear created the gods; that fancy, enthusiasm, or deceit… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
What I have against religion is that they start you when you are so defenseless. I mean, I was three when they… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Rational people, anti-religionists, must end their timidity and come out of the closet and assert themselves. And those who consider themselves only… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“Isn't it time we asked ourselves, are we willing to accept any behavior codified within religious or cultural practice? Is there no… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Faith means making a virtue out of not thinking. It's nothing to brag about. And those who preach faith, and enable and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
When I hear from people that religion doesn't hurt anything, I say really? Well besides wars, the crusades, the inquisitions, 9-11, ethnic… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
When it comes to religion, we're not two sides of the same coin, and you don't get to put your unreason up… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Let the Pope be Pope. An animal-rights group in Italy has asked Pope Benedict to give up his fur-trimmed cape… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“There's an old, frequently-used definition of insanity, which is "performing the same action over and over, expecting different results."... Now, I'm no… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Americans are finally coming to a point where they're accepting of religious criticism, is because George Bush is the first president who… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: You don't have to teach both sides of a debate if one side is a load of crap. President Bush… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Death isn’t always sad. This week, the Reverend Jerry Falwell died, and millions of Americans asked, “Why? Why, God? Why…didn’t… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Just because a country elects a smart president doesn't make it a smart country. A couple of weeks ago, I… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad's room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
