The country can't get well if the people are sick. And the people are sick. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You're not a patriot unless even when you lose, it's still your country. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Again, (America is) a stupid country with stupid people who don't pay attention. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Why are there so many puritans in this country, and why can't the rest of us make them go away?! — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
But isn't there something wrong when I'm the only guy in the country that got fired for 9/11? — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The electricity is back on in Baghdad. That is a very climactic moment in any country's liberation, when the lights come back… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I think I know now why we are occupying Iraq. In case we have to sell America and move to a smaller… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You know, we do a lot of complaining here in America. And that itself is something they can't do in a lot… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
In this country, a smart leader is suspect. That's just the way it is. Even George Bush's father, who was a lot… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Sarah Palin has strong opinions on the Libyans. She said, 'Marriage is between a man and a woman and Libyans like Rachel… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
In ten Muslim countries you can get the death penalty just for being gay. If they were chopping the heads off of… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
When you want to make it clear to the rest of the world that you are not an imperialist, the best countries… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I would rather put up with Rush Limbaugh and live in a country where we all do have freedom of speech. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Treason is when legislators vote against homeland security measures because it goes against the wishes of their political or financial backers. Treason… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Maybe every other American movie shouldn't be based on a comic book. Other countries will think Americans live in an infantile fantasy… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: The rest of the world can go back to being completely jealous of America. Our majority white country just freely… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Barack Obama is the President of the United States, a politician in America, a very religious country, so I understand why he… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The rebel army in Libya is just like 1,000 guys in Toyota trucks. The world is asking the question; can 1000 anti-government… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
In the Muslim world, much of it, they cannot conceive of something coming out of the United States that wouldn't be sanctioned… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I'm guessing our soldiers are happy to be leaving Iraq. It is no fun being in a country where there's crumbling infrastructure… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
It's so childish, "greatest country in the world." It's like saying, "I have the greatest wife in the world. Not just the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Sarah Palin has already had an effect on foreign relations... The new president of Pakistan, Ali Zardari, is in hot water, because… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
There is a big difference between a disappointing friend and a deadly enemy. Of course the Democrats are disappointing. That's what makes… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Karl Rove described Obama as "the guy at the country club with the beautiful date, holding a martini, and making snide comments… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
When I do stand-up around the country, I often see people walk out. This is a show that they've purposely gone to,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Everybody has a magazine and a channel. There are 500 channels and 500 magazines, and we wonder why we're not united as a country. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I understand we're on our way to being a Third World country. Could we just stop at 'Second World' before we get… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
This country hates professors. It likes Toby Keith - 'I'm gonna put a boot in their ass.' If you don't do that,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Americans are gluttons. We shop with forklifts. We have a holiday where we stuff food into other food. Our strippers wrestle in… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If it makes you feel any better we will be happy to attack a country that had nothing to do with it. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
France... What can you say about a country that was too stupid to get on board with our wonderfully-conceived and brilliantly-executed war… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The New York Times - but the whole country gives it that weight. It's like the Asian kid in math class. Everybody… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The country has become much more conservative, partly because it's been taken over by the religious right. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Why are we working so hard to preserve Iraq, a fake country to begin with? Why do we care whether this fake… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep and conformists. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To even win a nomination in this country, you have to say you're a person of great faith. You have to pledge… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
People who don't like you almost never come up to you. That's a lot of years of saying things that I know… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad's room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
