Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs? — Gilbert K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
Peace on earth will come to stay, When we live Christmas every day. — Helen Steiner Rice Copy Share Image
I haven't taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin. — Winston Spear Copy Share Image
A merry Christmas to everybody! A happy New Year to all the world! — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people.… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I heard the bells on Christmas Day Their old, familiar carols play, And wild and sweet The words repeat Of peace on… — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Copy Share Image
There are 364 days until Christmas and people already have their lights up. Unbelievable. — Goodmanb Copy Share Image
Last Christmas someone stole my present. I've spent this year living in the past. — Terry Alderton Copy Share Image
Christmas is the season when people run out of money before they run out of friends. — Larry Wilde Copy Share Image
This year, I'm going to buy all of my Christmas gifts from Nike...Made for kids by kids. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he… — Shirley Temple Copy Share Image
There are 17 more shopping days until Christmas. So, guys, that means 16 more days till we start shopping, right? — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
My wife, like many women, actually LIKES wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I love giving gifts and I love receiving them. I really like giving little kids extravagant gifts. You see their little faces… — Gina Gershon Copy Share Image
There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The principal advantage of the non-parental lifestyle is that on Christmas Eve you need not be struck dumb by the three most… — John Leo Copy Share Image
There are some people who want to throw their arms round you simply because it is Christmas; there are other people who… — Robert Staughton Lynd Copy Share Image
Dear Santa, Please send your credit card numbers. its only fair since youre getting the credit for the gifts, that you should… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend for months in advance that all I wanted was an Xbox. That's it. Beginning and… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I've had this look for about a year. I usually grow this beard out around Christmas. I like to go to malls… — Marc Maron Copy Share Image
Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love. It is Christmas in the heart that puts… — William Thomas Ellis Copy Share Image
When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas! — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Roses are reddish Violets are bluish If it weren't for Christmas We'd all be Jewish. — Benny Hill Copy Share Image
Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. — Oren Arnold Copy Share Image
Xmas Trivia: Before it became a major shopping holiday, Christmas is believed to have had a "religious" meaning. — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. — Phyllis Diller Copy Share Image
The earth has grown old with its burden of care, But at Christmas it always is young… — Phillips Brooks Copy Share Image
You can never truly enjoy Christmas until you can look up into the Father's face and tell him you have received his… — John R. Rice Copy Share Image
Roses are reddish, Violets are bluish, If it werent for Christmas, Wed all be Jewish. — Benny Hill Copy Share Image
The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each… — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child,… — Oren Arnold Copy Share Image
Isn't it funny that at Christmas something in you gets so lonely for - I don't know what exactly, but it's something… — Kate Langley Bosher Copy Share Image
Mankind is a great, an immense family... This is proved by what we feel in our hearts at Christmas. — Pope John XXIII Copy Share Image
