Roses are reddish Violets are bluish If it weren't for Christmas We'd all be Jewish. — Benny Hill Copy Share Image
The earth has grown old with its burden of care, But at Christmas it always is young.... — Phillips Brooks Copy Share Image
The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each… — Johnny Carson Copy Share Image
Roses are reddish, Violets are bluish, If it werent for Christmas, Wed all be Jewish. — Benny Hill Copy Share Image
A merry Christmas to everybody! A happy New Year to all the world! — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Dear Santa, Please send your credit card numbers. its only fair since youre getting the credit for the gifts, that you should… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people.… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child,… — Oren Arnold Copy Share Image
There are 364 days until Christmas and people already have their lights up. Unbelievable. — Goodmanb Copy Share Image
Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs? — Gilbert K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
The principal advantage of the non-parental lifestyle is that on Christmas Eve you need not be struck dumb by the three most… — John Leo Copy Share Image
This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend for months in advance that all I wanted was an Xbox. That's it. Beginning and… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
I sometimes think we expect too much of Christmas Day. We try to crowd into it the long arrears of kindliness and… — Ray Stannard Baker Copy Share Image
I set a personal record on Christmas. I got my shopping done three weeks ahead of time. I had all the presents… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food,… — Bill Watterson Copy Share Image
We have a small, tight family. I left home at a young age and the best thing for me was to go… — Jimmy Roy Copy Share Image
No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday. — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Mankind is a great, an immense family... This is proved by what we feel in our hearts at Christmas. — Pope John XXIII Copy Share Image
I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark. — Dick Gregory Copy Share Image
Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays, so there is a plural, which in the English language necessitates the use… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I truly believe that if we keep telling the Christmas story, singing the Christmas songs, and living the Christmas spirit, we can… — Norman Vincent Peale Copy Share Image
