Israel Quotes by Bill Maher

“He sold Syria way better than he sold this.”

— Bill Maher

Who takes care of their people better? FEMA or Hezbollah?

— Bill Maher

Saddam Hussein is Hitler like Oasis was The Beatles.

— Bill Maher

I never hear terrorists say 'Merry Christmas,' only 'Allahu Akbar'.

— Bill Maher

Every time somebody says 'Islamophobia' it gives the people who are intimidating cover.

— Bill Maher

The President said that Gold told him to invade Iraq. You see that's what happens when you mix New Testament and Old…

— Bill Maher

“But females in even the most advanced Muslim countries are simply, by law, not the equal of men.”

— Bill Maher

New Rule: The people of America who were most in favor of the Iraq War must now go there and fight it.

— Bill Maher

To give you an idea how slowly we are leaving Afghanistan, Afghans don't refer to us anymore as 'infidel crusaders.' They refer…

— Bill Maher

“New Rule: 12 years after 9/11 and admits yet another debate whether to bomb yet another Muslim country. America must stop asking…

— Bill Maher

For the first time since 1979, we are talking to the Islamic Republic of Iran. Obama says talking to him is probably…

— Bill Maher

I think I know now why we are occupying Iraq. In case we have to sell America and move to a smaller…

— Bill Maher

Dealing w/ Hamas is like dealing w/ a crazy woman who’s trying to kill u – u can only hold her wrists…

— Bill Maher

The difference, I think, that matters is which of the religions are dangerous. They're all crazy, but which ones have the potential…

— Bill Maher

In the Muslim world, much of it, they cannot conceive of something coming out of the United States that wouldn't be sanctioned…

— Bill Maher

I'm guessing our soldiers are happy to be leaving Iraq. It is no fun being in a country where there's crumbling infrastructure…

— Bill Maher

I feel terrible for a Palestinian child who dies. But, if it's your father, your brother or your uncle who was firing…

— Bill Maher

The rebel army in Libya is just like 1,000 guys in Toyota trucks. The world is asking the question; can 1000 anti-government…

— Bill Maher

Osama bin Laden put out a new video. The timing of this video has some people upset, three days before we vote.…

— Bill Maher

The [Libyan] rebels this week kind of hinted to the United States that they could use a little help. Right. Like, America…

— Bill Maher

Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick.…

— Bill Maher

“New Rule: Conspiracy theorists who are claiming that we didn't really kill Bin Laden must be reminded that they didn't think he…

— Bill Maher

What's going to be hard for the United States is that our policy for a long time has been a two-state solution;…

— Bill Maher

Based on every statement I’ve heard out of any Republican in the last two years, the Israelis are controlling our government.

— Bill Maher

The electricity is back on in Baghdad. That is a very climactic moment in any country's liberation, when the lights come back…

— Bill Maher

We take one group of people and we demonize them. Trying to turn people against our Muslim friend and neighbors.

— Bill Maher

But isn't there something wrong when I'm the only guy in the country that got fired for 9/11?

— Bill Maher

Why are we working so hard to preserve Iraq, a fake country to begin with? Why do we care whether this fake…

— Bill Maher

If the Hamas people had the opportunity, they would kill the maximum number of Israelis, which would be all. And, Israel has…

— Bill Maher

The president finally explained why he sat in that classroom on 9/11 for 7 minutes after he was told the country was…

— Bill Maher

The key to me, in religion, is just to treat it like it doesn't really matter. We have a Pope, we don't…

— Bill Maher

“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've…

— Bill Maher

I mean, maybe one day we will live in a more optimum world where terrorists come in every color of the rainbow.…

— Bill Maher