You know, we do a lot of complaining here in America. And that itself is something they can't do in a lot… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“We are oblivious to suffering. We are cheap with charity if it's not close to our home.” — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“We convince ourselves that even our shameless waste, our unchecked consumption and our appalling ignorance of anyplace in the world except our… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I want to just take a moment to thank the Teabaggers. Thank you so much for helping us pass health care, for… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The Eleventh Commandment: don't speak ill of a fellow Republican. What if the fellow Republican is doing something that hurts America? Isn't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Hey birthers, wanna hear my theory? My theory was that Obama was born in America and you were born with the umbilical… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Conservatives have to stop rolling their eyes every time they hear the word "France." Like just calling something French is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Tiger Woods apologized to the three women in America he never got around to sleeping with. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Barack Obama is the President of the United States, a politician in America, a very religious country, so I understand why he… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Only 42 percent of Republicans believe Obama was born in the United States. That's an amazing statistic. How come in America Christians… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If you're living hand-to-mouth, and still buying into the con that the big threats to America are socialized medicine, Mexican immigrants and… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
When people say to me, 'You hate America,' I don't hate America. I love America. I am just embarrassed that it has… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Unemployment is down, confidence is up, DOW 5,000 above Bush - or as Republicans put it, let's talk about gay people and abortion! — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: The rest of the world can go back to being completely jealous of America. Our majority white country just freely… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“Brave Americans in past wars didn't die for the actual flag--they died for the freedom it represents, including the freedom to burn… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“America is bad at discriminating between danger likely to strike again, and red herrings, the freaking helpings of disaster that no man… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
When you hear a lobby called Partnership for a Drug-Free America, just remember - they do not want a drug free America.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
This is America. We don't call an election before we know who won. That, after all, is the job of the Supreme… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: The people of America who were most in favor of the Iraq War must now go there and fight it. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
North Korea has the same ability to launch a nuclear strike against America as I do. It's like walking through a parking… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
When did the business community in America become so sensitive? ... that we have to treat like some type of rare exotic… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Which is why I'd like to tip off law enforcement to an even larger child-abusing religious cult. Its leader also has a… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
